Book recommendations for a FTM from an abusive background?

This seems like the most likely place to find some books I'm looking for (if they exist anywhere).My SO and I just found out were expecting in December. We're very excited but also very nervous. This baby will be both our firsts. My problem is, while he grew up in a fairly stable and loving household and has a good relationship with his family (mostly), my childhood was very very different. I grew up mostly in foster care. There was a lot of abuse, neglect, and more in my household. I have a pretty large batch of siblings but am only really in touch with one of my brothers.I'm very nervous about being a mother because I don't want to be anything like my mother. I seem to have carried the heaviest burden of all my siblings, I think because I remember the most and because I felt responsible for my younger siblings. I have pretty serious anxiety, PTSD, and at times depression, and I carry a lot of guilt from my childhood. But I very much want to be a good mother.I was wondering if anyone had any book recommendations for a new mother with a background of abuse? Or even any good parenting books would help. The only thing I really know at this point is that I don't want to do CIO and I'm interested in baby-led weaning (which is a long way out from now). I know nothing about parenting styles or schools of thought and the why's/research behind them.Note: I decided on posting here because I actually posted in this sub, I think, a few years back with a different handle. My mom was pregnant and wanted me and my now-ex-husband to adopt the child. I got a lot of amazing advice on preparing. She later miscarried (if the baby ever existed). Anyway, I was absolutely blown away by the responses I got in this sub and was hoping y'all might be able to pull through for me once again 😊 via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2oQrdtN