My 17 yo step daughter is a monster.

Im going to try to keep this brief because talking about it gives me extreme anxiety.For the past 6 years (its probably been going on longer. This is how long Ive been with her father) she has been stealing money, items (makeup, clothes, food) and other things from family, friends, school, and stores. (Its totalling up in the single digit thousands, probably more. We only started counting recently) We spend most of our extra money trying to replace everything she's stolen, but it's destroyed our budget. (We can no longer afford her after school programs, or really to take ourselves or her out.)She also threatens people... we've received calls from her friends parents and school because she's threatened to kill people (very graphically. Reading it was horrifying) or sexually assault them (also horrifying. Would never wish what she wrote on anyone!).She wont do anything that requires work. Chores, school, job... she wont do any of it. Now she's at the age where she knows we legally cant MAKE her do it. It results in her screaming and crying.We've had DCF here due to her hygiene (she just doesn't care. Wont brush teeth, hair, wets the bed from laziness [she has admitted it's laziness and with checking from 2 doctors and her therapist, they agree its nothing medical or mental] and will lay in it for days!) And things she's said at school. Ex. "My dad beats me"We've tried the no punishment be extra kind route (bring her to the mall for whatever she wants, can have her electronics, whatever) but that didn't work. So we went back to the old fashioned want privileges, then earn them. Instead she's stolen phones from classmates, money from friends and their parents, and more. Her behaivor hasn't gotten any better with over a year of no punishment or the grounding.She's been refusing to speak to her therapist, who says she seems to be a mostly normal teenager. (She'll shower and put on her best attitude to go. He wont discuss it with us, and we cant change therapist. She wont go)I'm completely lost at what to do. She doesn't respond to anything, unless shes screaming. Her father and I can't have dates or anything because we can't leave her home alone. She'll steal or destroy our things as revenge. Also can't hire a babysitter because she assaulted the last one. We fear for anyone we leave at home with her!What on earth are we supposed to do? We've set up time for her to spend privately with each one of us seprately or together. She sits there silently. Movies, dinner, whatever. The same reaction every time. She's destroying her own life and pushing us away. It's so sad, yet stressful.Please help, I'm at my wits end. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2fJeSD5