My 20-month-old is defiant

So yesterday wife, daughter and I are having dinner. Daughter is having pasta with the sauce and ground beef. She is on a high chair and SO and I are on the table next to her.We have to hold her to be careful and not throw food on the ground numerous times.She is still getting a grip on how to use utensils, she's not perfect but she's trying. Yesterday, she took her pasta bowl and just dumped everything on the high chair table and a lot of good fell on the ground.Cleaned her up after she was done eating and took her out of the high chair and asked her to pick up the pasta. I've asked her this before on other nights. She's a little reluctant but does it. The food had always been less though.So we continue to urge her to pick up the food. I play bad cop and my wife good cop.In the end she did not pick up her food and when I ask her to do it, she immediately crosses her arms across chest. This goes on for 15-20 minutes.We gave her a 10 minute timeout in the end.Am I over thinking this to ask for advice? My daughter is usually pretty sweet.Wife said she understands what she can get away with. Grandparents are far more lenient with her.Thanks in advance to this great community. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eKj4Da