Can anyone suggest literature to help a struggling mom and dad of two boys ages 2 and 3?

Yeah so we need to change our strategy. I want to go back to the time I actually enjoyed being a parent and enjoyed my boys. Lately its just been a nightmare. We don't sleep, we barely eat, my wife and I are struggling to maintain intimacy, and the kids rule the house. The 2 year old is okay behaviorally, the 3 yr old is a monster. Yes he is my son and yes I love him more than life, but i'm totally not naive enough or fake enough to call him anything but a horribly misbehaved child. We have tried so many things (with the exception of physical discipline but we would never resort to such tactics). I do lose my cool sometimes, though, and yell more than I should. Its shameful because I am the one losing my cool where I should be the parent and should remain calm and diffuse the situation, but sometimes I just can't take it anymore. I don't want my sons to be afraid of me. I don't want to be some yelling tyrannical father that they fear. I want to be smarter than they are and discipline in the most healthy and effective way possible. I read 1-2-3 Magic- that sort of helped. What i'm looking for is a book that goes in to the mindset of a 3 yr old and gives strategies to help them get control of emotions and also get them to listen to me. I'd also like to learn about how to be a parent to two children so close in age. How do I strengthen their relationship? How do I love them and treat them both equally? How can I foster and strengthen their relationship with each other? How do I mediate conflict? These are just some of the things i'd like to learn about. I'm far from a perfect person and far from a perfect father and I don't want to raise unhappy children who cannot maintain relationships with other people over me F'ing up as a parent. I'm interested in hearing about books and/or websites that could teach me these things. I'd also love to hear anecdotes from parents who were in this situation or who are currently in this situation. Maybe I just need to know i'm not alone. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2eDzXfp