Stay At Home Mom Shame

I'm sure this isn't the first time this has been discussed on this subreddit but I can't find any discussion about it right now so here I go...I am sick of it. Just plain sick of it. I am 24 with a 2 year old (will be 3 in 2 months). I am young. I don't have a college education. No. This is it. This is all I do. Raising a child is a JOB. I am sick and tired of people asking me when I am going to "go back to school" like I am 16. It's just me and my husband. My mom works, my MIL is not a safe caregiver and daycare is through the roof in my city. And News Flash: I like staying home. I love my daughter and want to spend every second with her that I can before she grows up and has her own life. Who would fault a person for wanting that and achieving it?What am I going to do with myself when my daughter starts school? Maybe get a degree online. But definitely not now. I don't care if your sister stayed home with 3 kids and still got a college degree. People talk about that like it's easy. It is not easy. I am already pulling my hair out on a daily basis, struggling to care for my daughter, get enough sleep and drink my coffee while it's hot. Why would I do something that I know is terrible for the scraps of sanity that I manage to maintain? Yes, working moms have it harder, they do everything I do and go to work. But guess what? All parenting is hard. Its all one big bag of FU all the time. For every. Single. Parent. On the planet. Stay at home moms don't have it easier because they get to do their jobs in pajamas. If that's the case then we need to stop paying these nannies and babysitters, because it's not a job.I hate the stupid look people give me. That stare down their nose and the disappointed "oh". Like I just told them I'm unemployed living in my mothers basement. My husband makes plenty of money. We own a home and 2 cars (both of which are paid off). I am an adult. I didn't NOPE out of it by having a baby. That's not how this works. I pay bills and babysit someone else's kid 2 times a week. I schedule doctor appointments and buy the food and budget the money. Not to mention do all the cleaning. We have a dog that I am 100% responsible for. Guys I am busy all the time every day. Sometimes I think about getting a job so my husband can do half of this. And I don't get a single penny for it.Why do people look down on me like this? Why is the word Just always put in front of Stay At Home Mom? "Just a stay at home mom" is the worst phrase I can think of to call me. I am not "just" anything. I work hard and no one outside my immediate family understands that at all.Ugh. Rant over. Thanks for reading. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/32FfIq9

Why am I resenting my husband?!

My husband is a loving and active father, he's a thoughtful and adoring husband, he works super hard to provide for us (I am able to step back from my job and stay home with our LO while finishing my graduate degree).Still----I get SO frustrated when I'm in charge of EVVVVVVERYTHING for our 5 month old baby and the house. I roll my eyes as he sleeps through the night. I shake my head as I constantly keep an eye on the clock for her schedule. I grumble under my breath as I read and research everything that we do for our LO.He works long hours in a VERY involved field, so I of course know he deserves time to clear his head on a day off ---- but for some reason I get really frustrated and even resentful as he leaves for the gym or to go on the river. I technically could do the same, but in my gut I think a lot of the routine would crumble, and then I'd pay the price later when she's fussy and waking up all night.I really need to establish "me time" in the same way he is doing so that I don't turn into a mother-martyr, but I am fearful of handing over the reins.Anyone else resent a perfectly wonderful person? How did you get to a less toxic place? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3aggzQF

It's not unreasonable that I don't let my 9 year old daughter wear makeup, is it?

She's a big time girly girl and keeps asking me to let her wear makeup. I let her help with mine sometimes, but I just feel like she's too young for me to be comfortable with her wearing it. She's pushing back more and more and a few other moms have told me I'm being unreasonable.She's allowed to do her hair different ways and paint her nails. In fact, she and I paint each other's nails every Sunday night and take turns picking the color (I don't love the bright yellow she picked this week, but hey, it was her turn). I'm comfortable with that. But lipstick and makeup? For a nine year old? I just don't know.I tell her that on her 13th birthday I'll buy her a makeup kit. She's lucky. My own mom didn't even let me wear makeup when I was in high school. But am I off base here? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2vrWEiY

Wake up mystery

Why is it that my kids have no problem waking up at 630 am on weekends to watch movies but on weekdays it's an ordeal to wake up at that time for school? Hmmmmmmmm? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Tc9Ul3

What is worse

What is worse? Stepping in dog poop in your house bare foot or stepping on the lego you child emptied out on the floor?I did both in seconds of each other. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/38eD4nP

Bi-Monthly Surveys and studies - March 2020

This is a thread for researchers to publish their surveys, polls or studies that they'd like parent's to participate.Moderators from /r/parenting are not verifying the sources of these surveys, so answer at your own will and don't hesitate to ask for more information from the original poster.If you want to publish a survey that isn't relevant to a parenting subreddit, please try /r/SampleSize. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/32Pp8jf

I wish people would realize how toddlers are susceptible to ideas.

I hate it when people just blurt out ideas to my 1y10m boy and just expect it to be okay and funny. "Oh, honey go pull daddy's beard" my grandmother thinks it's funny because i don't want him to eat that sugary snack. "Oh you banged your head against the the table, it's okay you can hit back" my mother believes that's acceptable behavior. The good waiter thinks it's okay to say something like "wanna go play outside?" And there goes our nice lunch we were trying to have.I understand that people are trying to be funny and engaging to our baby, but we're the ones left with trying to teach him that this is wrong despite the adults saying that it's okay. We're the ones who will be apologizing to others if he takes that kind if behavior with other children. And God forbid i try and tell my family that this is not right or acceptable, i get all kinds of "hey, you turned out just fine" or my personal favorite "oh look at you acting all grown-up".It's gets very frustrating when people just don't understand how demanding having a kid that age is. And that we're the ones left with dealing with the tantrums. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2TwF8lE