i don’t think i was meant to be a mom.

i apologize for the formatting. i know this is all over the place, but i need to get this off my chest and my mind is fried from lack of sleep.i feel so awful thinking about this, but it’s all that’s been on my mind. i don’t think i was meant to be a mom. i don’t think i should’ve had my daughter. she will be 3 weeks old on saturday (born 4/4) and she’s so sweet when she’s just chilling. but when she cries, i find myself feeling nothing towards her. i don’t know how to help her or comfort her. i go through the list of things that she needs (hungry, burping, dirty diaper) but she just will not stop screaming. i’ve had a headache for 3 days now. i cry when she cries. i’ve considered leaving my boyfriend and giving him 100% custody because he’s so good with her and i’m just.. not. i’ve also considered suicide (nothing new) because she’s so little, she wouldn’t remember me and maybe my bf could raise her with a stepmom, she’d never know the difference. but i don’t want to do that. i feel like i have to protect her, and take care of her. i think it’s good that i have this instinct, but it doesn’t go along with everything else that i’m feeling. is this normal? is this ppd? am i just a bad person? i don’t know. i know i should probably talk to my doctor but i’m terrified of someone calling cfs if i open up (just because i wish she would stop crying does not mean i would ever shake her, or hurt her in any way, shape or form. just putting this out there in case that crosses anyone’s mind. when i need a break, i take one. her dad has been home with us and a huge help).i don’t know what kind of responses to expect. i don’t know if i’m looking for advice, stories, or opinions. i just feel so alone and would like to hear from some other parents who have maybe felt this way when their kids were born. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3cM5gRQ