Has anyone implemented a home routine/schedule similar to school to help curve bad behavior and tantrums at home?

I am thinking of trying this to see if it helps my 6 (almost 7) year old, but it is so not my style. I'd prefer for her to learn how to fill her free time at home without me having to lay out her day for her, but being bored or having to wait to do or have something she wants are triggers for her, so I think a schedule would help her manage her expectations. No one else in my family craves this kind of rigidity so it just doesn't come naturally to plan the day hour-by-hour ahead of time and then stick to the plan with no diversions. Meal times, homework times, screen times, and bed times are all pretty strictly planned out already-- it's basically the free time that is not. Any input, advice, or experience is appreciated! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2PDgy2A

How much do you let other people touch your child?

I am a first time mom and I am just looking for a frame of reference.​We go to the same grocery store all the time and most of the people recognize us and vice versa. There is one clerk in particular we will have occasional conversations with and will occasionally chat about mundane aspects of our lives (comparing notes on raising children, etc.) He has a daughter who is only a few months younger than my son. I've never met her before, but I have heard the other clerks talk about her coming around. Beyond that, I know nothing about him and vice versa.​He does little things like high fiving my son, scratching his head, and will ask the routine questions about "is that superman on your shirt".​My son doesn't seem uncomfortable and it's not like the guy is just picking him up in a big bear hug or anything, but on some level I wonder if I am being too permissive when it comes to interactions or if I am just being paranoid and overthinking things. I started thinking about it because I noticed that even my husband's co-workers that we see when we have lunch with hubby don't even interact with him like this. They usually say hello, ask about the character on his shirt, but other than that, don't try to pat his head or things like that.​Do you let acquaintances (people you see on a routine basis, but don't know that well) do stuff like this or do you prefer that they keep their distance? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2CWmrS0

Weekly - Things my kid said - to share all the things your kids say. - November 01, 2018

This is a weekly thread where you can share the things you're kid said to you that made you laugh/cry/go on a mad rampage.If you'd like to talk daily about things your kids say, feel free to visit /r/thingsmykidsaid via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RwnaNN

Concerned about my son's behavior

I am divorced from my ex-husband and father of my two children, 9 and 6-year-old.We divorced because he was abusive - he manipulated me and the final straw was him being aggressive and hitting me and choking me in front of the children. He got worse over the years and it is still a huge struggle for me since my children still have to visit him twice a month for the weekend. He is also abusive towards them. There is nothing I can do to help them because the country I live in sees slapping as normal and all his others aggressions (like not giving medicine when sick, forbidding them to play in tournaments of their hobbies when it's his weekend, consistent shouting, not feeding them properly, taking away money I give them to spend on themselves, ignoring their feelings, making them study and just being mean) are apparently acceptable ways of raising children.This is very frustrating for them and obviously for me. The kids went to a psychologist for a long time, but before the summer they were in a good place so it was decided that we should pause it. Again mental health awareness isn't really a thing here.I have been with a new partner for quite a while now and am currently expecting a new baby.My children call my partner dad. They absolutely love him and adore him and he loves them back. They asked to call him dad about a year ago. He drives them around to their hobbies, introduced new hobbies to them, tucks them in and listens to them. He is very calm and has given so much to our family. He even supports the kids financially... His family is very big and all of them have taken on loving the kids as their own family. His brothers visit the kids and spend time with them. Build things. They also have my parents and sisters who love them so much. They both have great male role models aside from their own father. Communicating is very important in our household and they both know I have zero tolerance towards violence.My older son,9, has always been sweet and quiet. This summer was very difficult for him with his father and since then there have been a few misunderstandings between them. My son hates his biological father, but there is nothing I can do to help him. I know he is frustrated and angry. His biological father with all his terrible faults, still loves his children and wants to spend time with them and sometimes he does amazing things with them, but still, my son comes back confused and unsure how to process this.This last month my son has been aggressive towards other kids 3 times! The first time was on a hockey tournament. His team was losing and he attacked a few? I wasn't there. He told me and we talked about it. His (step)dad talked to him about it. We weren't angry. He wasn't punished. We just agreed that he was frustrated and tried explaining to him how else he could handle it.The second time was yesterday. Our community here does trick or treating. For the first time, he was allowed to go alone with his friends. He came home happy and was getting ready for bed when his friend's mom called and told my son had been beaten down by an older kid. We immediately asked him what happened and he didn't want to tell me, only his stepdad. So he admitted to his stepdad that the older boy was walking to close to him and then my son attacked him. The older boy was stronger so my son said stop. The kid was stopped and they both went on their separate ways. My partner talked to him about it, but again no punishment just talking about how to handle yourself.Now today for lunch my daughter comes home and tells me her brother kicked her off the swing and she fell. He comes homes home shortly after that says nothing but can't look me in the eye. Now I was very upset and told him that this was strike three and that he has no right to game, watch tv and has to give me his Halloween candy until further notice. I was upset and maybe a bit loud and harsh in my tone so he stood up and slammed the door to his room.My partner says that when he was his age he would often be aggressive too without much of a reason. I know boys are a bit wild and will get into trouble, but is this still normal? Should I call his psychologist? I'm so afraid of him turning into his biological father and my ex-husbands biggest issue until this day is his enabling parents who never make him stand up for his actions and always find a way to excuse it and help him out.I don't want to blow things out of proportions - I just want to help my son. He is so loving and intelligent and a really great kid, I don't want him to lose that. Should I worry? What can I do to help him?​​​ via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2SBWxrZ

17 month old has been given an inhaler, any advice to get him to actually take it?

Hi everyone.My son has been suffering really bad with a chest infection over the last 2 weeks. Hasn’t responded to his antibiotics very well, spiking fever... spent last night in A&E where he had back to back Nebs, steroids and given an inhaler. Now in A&E he was really poorly and allowed me to do it, but today he’s having none of it. We have been given a spacer to help.Here’s the embarrassing thing... I’m a nurse. I just don’t have a clue how to get him to have this damn thing besides putting him in a headlock! Husband is away with work, so it’s just me on my own. I’ll take any and all advice, including bribery. Thanks! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2QccVOr

At what point do we make children deal with the consequences of their choices

So at my daughters (9 and a half ) school they can do well in class and earn punches in a card that they can redeem for rewards. My daughter got enough punches and redeem it to be able to take a toy to school. They send home a little thing to let us know what date it is allowed. So this morning my daughter showed me her card and said she wanted to bring her giant husky dog. This husky is so big she can barely carry it. It’s like human sized. I told her she had to pick something else because it was too big. She had a meltdown about how another kids parents brought his in for him and how the school allowed it. But I told her that she couldn’t because I said so, not the school. She takes the bus in and today was a day I couldn’t bring her in with a giant toy and plus the teachers would have to help her with it all day and itd just be a big pain. Maybe with prior approval from the teachers and on a day I was able to drive her in it would have been ok but , I told her to pick something else. We had about half an hour until the bus came. In which she argued with me about the giant dog the whole time and I said no and said how much time she has left to pick out something else. So five minutes before the bus leave she’s still hasn’t picked anything else out. Give her the final warning. Then when it’s time to go out to the bus she says I need to give her more time to pick something else. I then explained she had a half hour to pick something else and she chose to argue with me instead of pick something else and we needed to go out to the bus. She said she knew what else she wanted to bring when we were half way up the driveway but I told her it was too late, I gave her plenty of chances and she didn’t listen and the bus was about to pull up. Then my husband, against my wishes, ran into the house and got the smaller toy she wanted and brought it to her. He said I was being cruel and she’d remember this forever and be really upset. But that was kind of my point. She made a choice to not listen to my “no” my reasons why and my request to compromise. I mean she’s not 2. She’s almost 10. I know this is a defiant stage but at what point do we have children take responsibility for the choices they are making? My husband and I then argue for ten minutes but calmed down and he said he understood where I was coming from, he’s just a softy and doesn’t like the kids upset. Which I get. I realize this situation is a little trivial in the whole scheme of life and I don’t know how well it will transfer to “the real world” in my children brain. But when I say no my kids usually know I mean it. My husband is the push over and they run to him for everything. I don’t really mind being the mean one but I’ve never felt cruel. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2SADDBK

7-year-old still always seems tired even 3 months after surgery for obstructive sleep apnea

My daughter (7) had her adenoids and tonsils out at the beginning of August. Surgeon said they were massive and almost completely blocking her airway. Since then, the results have honestly been amazing. Her voice changed, she sleeps so quietly, she doesn’t mouth breathe—I was so grateful!However she still seems tired pretty often. Granted it is MUCH better. After about 3pm, she used to just kinda act like a little drunk person. We had to stop all after-school things (like piano lessons, which she loved) because she’d fall asleep on the way to them and then just not get much out of them.Now, she can do gymnastics at 5 in the afternoon once a week and still hold a pretty good conversation at dinner later.However, I think she’s still struggling. Her eyes seem so droopy. And you can just tell in her behaviors that she’s just tired.Likewise, on Saturdays she’ll sleep more but by 1-2 pm she’s acting exhausted. This past Saturday I put her in my bed around that time and she ended up sleeping for 3 hours. (No naps on school nights though or she won’t fall asleep easily.)Two things I’m thinking:1.) She just needs more sleep than most kids. That’s okay.2.) She’s going to be catching up on a 6+ year sleep deficit for awhile, so I just need to keep being patient.I know kids her age need 10-12 hours of sleep per night, so I work hard to make sure she gets that. We have a strict bedtime routine.If the routine goes how it’s meant to go, we’re usually eating dinner by 5:45pm, she’s in the bath by 6:15pm (every other night), we’re reading by 6:45-7pm, and she’s asleep by 7:30. I wake her up for school at 6:30am and she has until about 7:40 to dress and eat before we leave.But it can be a bit frustrating because so many of her classmates don’t have bedtimes until 8:30 or so.Say there’s a school function, like a music concert, that starts at 6.I notice that she’s just so tired by then. And after the concert, we might get home at 7:30. If she still needs dinner (because we had to make it to the school on time for the concert) or a snack (because, maybe, she was given dinner at 5:30 or so before leaving to a 6pm concert, but didn’t eat much, and is now home again and hungry), or a bath, then she might not be asleep until 8:30-9pm.This doesn’t seem like such an issue for other kids her age, but if she is asleep any later than 7:30, the next day it’s so hard to wake her up. (It’s hard to wake her up even if she falls asleep by then.) She’s also got these circles under her eyes at school or after school, still. She never seems “awake.”I feel like we miss out on so much sometimes because of it.Honestly, I’m sure lots of her classmates whose bedtimes are at 8:30 or so are tired too. I don’t know that she’s alone.I also know that our culture (U.S.) isn’t particularly conducive to anyone getting the recommended amount of sleep.I’m just wondering if anyone else struggles with this? Do you just keep working to maintain early bedtimes? Do you have issues when there are school events or community events in the early evenings?Edit: Just adding that she doesn’t have at behavioral problems at school. She’s one of the quiet kids and always brings home really good marks. Teachers love her to bits. It’s just after school that I feel like she seems so exhausted. (I also think she may just be introverted and drained from engaging with people daily.) via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Ol2kit