Will I love my second as much as my first?

My wife and I have a 1 year old son right now named Josh. He is amazing, and adorable, and neat, and I love him more than I imagined I could love another human being. I always lay him down after saying a line from a song I once heard, "there are fancy cars and diamond rings, but you know that they don't mean a thing. They all add up to nothing compared to you."Last month we found out that my wife is expecting again, we are going to have another baby! During my wife's pregnancy with Josh, I constantly thought about what kind of person he would be, whether he was going to suck, going to be an easy baby, I just thought about him all the time. Now that I have him and I am teaching him and instructing him and disciplining him, I find myself never thinking about my baby on the way. I almost never think about baby #2.I am already worried about not loving this baby as much as Josh, and the fact that I almost never think about baby #2 makes me worried that my fear will come true. That I will be so busy and focused on Josh that I won't properly love and parent #2.Has anybody been in this situation before and have any words of wisdom for me? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2n3F4u4

Boys smoking pot int their room

Have a 15 year old. He has been caught out several times smoking pot. We have made it clear this isn't acceptable.- We live in an area that goes out of the way to punish possession of pot pretty severely.- He's playing football and smoking will get you kicked off the team.- His grades aren't what they need to be, lots of C's when he is more than capable of getting A's.- He isn't taking care of his responsibilities (missing workouts, etc.)We recently took in a 16 year old boy as well who didn't have a place. For the most part, he's a good kid. Last night, we found them smoking pot together in his room. I'm really angry about this. I don't want cigarettes smoked, much less pot in the house. Plus, there have been a lot of kids over to the house lately and now I'm worried that they might have been sharing it with other kids here. I also think it's not much of a leap for either or both of them to start dealing it because of the crowd the older one was hanging with.I'm concerned about several things - this isn't just like having a beer at a friends. If they are smoking here at home, what are they trying to escape? There are a lot of downsides here. My 15 year old has said "it's not that bad, it's legal in other places... blah blah" but he's not of age, it isn't legal here and he's not taking care of his responsibilities.So because of the dishonesty and disrespecting our house, we've taken their phones and X-boxes. We have tried the no-drama approach but we have been ignored and there are no changes to his behavior. So it's time for something different.TL;DR - 15 yr old keeps smoking pot now they are doing it in the house and it's not acceptable to us. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2vrLaYZ

I want to leave and never look back

One day I will be able to wash my hands clean of him. And be free. One day I wont have to deal with the daily abuse he inflicts because he is a miserable human. One day i hope to be at peaceWe met originally when I was 15. He paid so much attention to me. He told me how mature i was, how I wasnt like other girls. He told me he wanted to take my virginity so it would be even more special for the both of us. My parents never monitored my online activity and that's how I fell into the hands of a predator. What 32 year old man would be actually interested in a 15 year old other than to groom them and be manipulative and downright creep.We met for the first time 3 weeks after my 18th birthday. We had sex. He got what he wanted. He kept pushing me more and more to do things I didn't want to but I was a timid and meek person, still am. I didn't know how to say "no" . we kept meeting up once a month for a year. Then my dad passed away and it completely fucked my entire world up. He swooped in, swept me off my feet. He promised to take care of me in my grief. My mom moved in with her sister and there was no room for me so to him I went. So many red flags i missed.The abuse didn't start until a few months later. At first it was little things. I did sometbing to upset him and he couldn't control his anger but he promised to never do it again. Then he broke my laptop. Then he demanded I cut contact with my mom. At the time i was angry and hurt and did everything he said. I truely believed he loved me and this was normal. I had necer been in a relationship before this so I really thought this waa okay. That this was his way of showing me "love"He's never allow3d me to have a job. No money of my own. He has to review everything I need for myself. He has to deem them acceptable. He decided what tampons I bought, what clothes I bought, what groceries we needed. Everything has to go through him first. He still talks down to me like a child and belittles and insults me because he has two degrees and i only managed to graduate high school.Then we had our child. He was so angry fir my water breaking in the car and messing up his seat. He wasn't there for her birth. He was furious that i had a c-section and we couldn't havr the disgusting sex he likes so much sooner than he wanted. Instead of letting me heal after giving birth, our daughter was 4 weeos old when he raped me analy and I still have issues almost 2 yyears later. He refused to let me breastfeed because hebdidnt want my 'tits to get fucked up'. He would get angry and scream at me when she needed diapers or formula anf accuse me of taking advantage ofhim and trapping him. Nevermind the faxt a 32 year old was chasing after a 15 year old when we first 'met' 6 years agoThr worst incident is when his own father did something to piss him off so he took it out on me. He pinned me against the wall and choked me so hard I stsrted to lose my sight. In thought i was going to die that night and accepted as much. A small part of me wished he had just killed me. part of me is terrified to peave because i have a feelijv he will kill me for leaving with our daughter. But ive had enough. I cannot do this anymoreBut what he. Doesnt know is i have an old cell phone that stillnworks over Wi-Fi. That im back in contact with my mom who is tryung to help us leave. That shr sends me money every month so I can get us away from him. Its never much, 10or 20 dollars a month but I will one day have enough to leave him. I want to change our names do he can never find us. I don't want my daughter to know this is her fatherIn so glad I never married him. He claims hr will never marry me because I'm too much of a mooch and drag on his lifestyle. He has told me he wants to fuck ogher girls and I should consider myself lucky he hasn't yet. He says he hates me and the feeling is so very mutual. I despise him. I resent him. I hate the fact this is the man my child shares half of her dna with. I know I am a horrible person fof this but sometimes I wish he would drop dead. I hope I am able to get us out before shr can remember him bruising mommy's throat and yelling and throwing and breaking things.One day I will leave him. One day he won't have control over me anymore. One Day via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2v2hG4v

Need Advice: 21 Year Old Live at Home with No Direction

So, first time posting - really looking for advice here. Serious responses only please. I have a 21 year old son who still lives at home. He has an "ok" job - works 40 hours a week and makes few bucks more than minimum wage but that's about it. He has tried going to school but does care to focus and usually gets C's and D's in his classes. Education has never really been that important to him as he hasn't connected the dots between a decent education and a job that pays above the poverty level.His mom and I do fairly well financially - and I fear we've spoiled him. He has never wanted for much of anything and seems content to live in our basement, work his job with no direction in life. He has a few friends but rarely goes out and seldom leaves home. He does have a girlfriend, which as become the catalyst for this post.I have been on him for the past year or so trying to get him headed in some direction. If he doesn't want to go the academic route I was hoping he might find a trade he wants to pursue. However, he doesn't seem to put forth any real effort to do so. Frankly, his life is just cushy enough that he doesn't have the motivation to do anything else. And I just don't understand it.Recently he got a new girlfriend. She seems nice; met my wife but I have never met her. Just this night he informed us she would be coming over at around 1am and staying for a few hours. It was this announcement that brought things to a head. (It's worth noting I have younger children in the house)My position was this was not acceptable. If she wants to visit she can do so at normal hour and if their collective work schedule makes it difficult to do so then that's too bad. I am not supportive of another "adult" in our house at that hour when he collectively doesn't have the rest of his life in order. My position is that he is living under my house and therefore my rules --- if he wants that sort of freedom then he needs to start making his own way in the world. I am interlinking these issues, for certain, but I believe this life needs to be a little less comfortable if a change is to occur.My wife's position is that she doesn't mind. She would rather have them here at the house then elsewhere. I find her position of concession to be exactly that which is contributing to a 21-year old listless child.So - here we are. I am the odd man out because my son just stormed out of the house and my wife stormed off to bed because apparently I'm the asshole. I feel like my wife is enabling him and I am alone in this.SO Reddit.. what do you think? I am out of line or being overly zealous? I would appreciate any guidance.... via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2n1HdpU

Who has had to commit their child before?

My 8 year old daughter's violence has gotten so bad that I no longer feel I can keep her or myself safe when it's just the two of us. My husband and I had her involuntarily committed and we're on the way home to sleep.Who else has had to do this with a child so young?Even knowing she's mentally ill and was severely damaged by her bio-mom, how did you stop feeling like the biggest failure of a parent on the planet?What should I expect if they suspect RAD and ODD? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2LIjcDg

Do twins ever fight or get aggressive when breastfeeding if one gets to close ?

Lol weird question but I can’t help I’m curious when I was little and we had a litter of pups i remember them fighting over the nipples.I have my first child that’s 3 weeks and when he breastfeeds an I lean in to kiss my gf seems like he starts making noises like he doesn’t want me to get to close.So that made me think of breastfeeding moms with twins. I’m sure if there like two they might but what about like infants ? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2AunnNT

Oh please PLEASE let me find that dumb thing!

When our twins where born we got a 100€ Giftcard for babies R us from my husbands coworkers. It was great and we wanted to use it for the next set of car seats we needed (ffin 200€ each damn!). When the time came, we could not find it. For the love of god, we turned our flat upside down but it was missing. So we spend the cash we had on the seats, hoping the Giftcard would one day turn up again. Now, we need the next set of seats (lil buggers are hellbend on growing no matter how little they eat) we hope to find it before the chain closes down for good... via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Av9nDp