What am I not doing?

What kinds of things was your toddler doing at 20 months old? (Single child homes would be helpful because kids with siblings learn faster)For the most part my kid seems normal. Maybe severely ADHD like me, but normal. Now I’m going to talk about our issues, but please keep in mind that my child DOES seem normal for the most part and most importantly, passed her pre-eval for autism. So please tell me if this is normal, and if not please suggest ways to work on these issues.First of all, her communication is lacking in general. She has a few words down, like dog and cat, star, cup, daddy and mommy. But she doesn’t point to things she wants and she won’t say cup or drink or hungry or anything when she has a need or want. Sometimes she will bring me her cup and every time I say, “Are you thirsty? Do you want a drink?” She has in the past said “Yes, thirsty.” When asked this, but it’s rare and very inconsistent. I’m starting to think this is a personality issue rather than a lack of skill because yesterday she fell and I asked “Are you okay?” To which she knocked the wind out of my chest by replying “Yeah, I’m okay.” But again, these things are rare and extremely inconsistent and her vocabulary sucks. We do flash cards for sight words with pictures every day.The only other issue I have before I get on the mom groups on Facebook is the temper tantrums. How extreme is too extreme? For example, my kid has a Melissa and Doug piano. It’s very short and she likes to climb it. Obviously I tell her to get down. If she is in a good mood she will listen. Most of the time she’s going to go full meltdown mode, hit me, start hitting herself in the face and head. If I tell her don’t hit she gets 10x worse. She will bash her head into everything, the floor, my chair, the windowsill. On purpose. She will even hold her head where she hit it, acknowledging that it hurt, and then do it again. When she does this we have to put her in a pack and play in the center of the room away from walls so she cannot hurt herself.And then I get on Facebook and see that the other August babies are counting to 20 unassisted in 3 languages on video. Can’t fake it when it’s on video. What the hell am I doing wrong? Thanks for taking time for this post.Sincerely, A Concerned, and very tired FTM via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3bqoYSR