Is the truth better left unsaid?

So here's the situation, my husband and I have been married almost 2 years now. I have a six year old and a two year old both from separate relationships. The biological father of the two year old was from a previous relationship and decided not to be involved because I wasn't in a relationship with him. I did indeed invite him to every single doctor appointment, he only came to one. I told him once I went to the hospital and my water broke. He was there for the birth and the day following. He came to visit our son once after that when he was 2 weeks old, then that was it. I told him he was not required to be involved and that I would stop the order for child support so there was no responsibility left on his end. In order to stop the request for child support I had to take my son off Medicaid and put him on my primary insurance which wouldn't begin until January of the next year. The bio dad called me on December 26th of the year he was born, concerned that child support services had reached out to him in regards to pursuing the order and to let him know once it was stopped. That is the last communication I've had with him since. That was a little over 2 years ago.My husband and I started dating when I was 6 months pregnant with my son. Although it was not the best time to start a new relationship, it developed into a stronger bond then I had ever had for someone. He was there after my son was born and has been the primary father figure in his life since. We have since been looking to have him adopt our son. As I was researching the legalities of my husband adopting him, I needed to figure out if I needed the biological dad's permission. I found out that I don't because he didn't sign the birth certificate nor was there any order for child support.Morally, should he be made aware of the situation? Personally I am conflicted because his actions were that of someone who didn't want to be involved. So in my mind, he has already given me his answer. Secondly I was worried that he would become selfish and deny the request out of pettiness and not concern for his child.As I was looking into the process I was able to learn that he is in a relationship with someone else. The woman he is in a relationship with currently has one daughter and they are now expecting their first child together sometime this year. My concerns are still the same except now I would be hurting someone else in the process. Do I let him know of our intentions of adopting and does his new girlfriend need to know about our son in the first place?I don't have his contact information nor am I able to see any of his social media accounts to reach out to him in that manner either. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3a7iEi7