I'm sure I was an accident and my life sucks

I have a guess that I was an accident baby. I can tell because of "I never thought that I would ever have a kid. But when I had you everything changed.", and my parents' attitude is shitty. From when I was small, my parents screamed at me for everything they didn't like. It wasn't just a little scolding or talk with me, but a full blown screaming contest. For every damned grade which they found unsavory, the screamed and shouted. When I got to 5th grade, I had a horrible anxiety and didn't have friends, only bullies. From a point, I started asking them to find me a psychologist. But lo and behold, they didn't and instead screamed at me a little more. I'm 18 now, and a wreck. A total emotional wreck. I'm anxious about everything, and maybe have depression.One time, I asked my cousin (adult) to ask my dad to let me see a psychologist. And what was his reaction? "I'm so disappointed because she didn't come to us with her problems!", yeah, like, if you continuosly turn me down with "That's life!" and "Suck it up!", then don't be so surprised. I heard these all throughout my childhood and I'm tired of it. Oh, and it turns out that they find the "looks" or "impressions" more important than my emotional well-being. In their eyes, going to a psychologist means that I'm a "faulty product".Throughout my life, I have seen so many families sit down and discuss things maturely, like most adults do, instead of a screaming fest. I envy those. My parents never heard of it.Showed emotions? Too girly. Was thinking like a female? Woman logic (dad used this to degrade me). Didn't show emotions? Too cold.They never let me do extracurriculars because "It's too expensive". Yeah, no. They could easily afford it, they were just too damned lazy to drop me off. Some months ago, I looked it up. Thus, I never really learned to socialize.It also doesn't help that my dad always tells me that I should stop being friends with my friend. He always said that "He'll start dating and you'll be left alone." and "He's a boy, he won't care about being friends with a girl.".My dad also loved to point it out that how much his colleague's son is better than me.From a materialistic point of view, I have everything. From an emotional view, I have nothing.This is a tip of what you should NOT do to your kid. It won't benefit either fo you in the long run. I shared this with you because you can maybe learn something of my idiotic and pathetic parents' faults that ruined me. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2TbOPWw