Grandparents took daughter for 4 days and I don’t know how to feel

My husband and I were travelers for the 7 years we were married pre kid. Then the baby came along 7.5 months ago and reality hit. I had a terrible 8th month, induction, preeclampsia, emergency c section and the WORST ppd that I am still getting treatment for. I regretted my decision to have a kid, had horrible thoughts about her, wanted to give her away. Working with a therapist and slowly made some of that better but fussy phases and teething etc set some of that back as baby crying legit gives me anxiety. I tried antidepressants early on but I was so out of whack I was told to get off in a few days. But now that I’m more stable I decided to try again (along with Yaz). I started prozac two weeks ago and was warned by therapist and doc I may feel worse before I feel better. Well we are at the two week mark and I am feeling HORRIBLE again. Constant anxiety, horrible thoughts about her (though I personally do not want to hurt her), apathy to her. She got up at 4 am screaming and I was more annoyed she woke me up than I was concerned she was in pain. My husband and I had planned a 4 day trip because after all the stress I thought we needed time to decompress. However this 4 day getaway is coinciding with this medication reaction and I’m feeling guilty but also worried I’ll get to our destination and miss what our old life was and circle back to why did we do this etc. I called my therapist and she said if I can withstand this currently it’ll get better in a week or two (unless of course I want to harm her then I need to go to ER). any advice? Anyone go through something similar? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/39ZM5CD