Is watching your kid(s) grow up supposed to feel this damn heartwrenching?

I hope this is the appropriate place for this post, I didn't know where else I could go to find some sort of commiseration/advice/etc. I am actually feeling a bit stupid and mentally unstable about this so any confirmation from other parents would be appreciated. :)So... I've been having a very difficult time lately coming to terms with my 18mo daughter growing up. I mean, I know there's so much more to look forward to and I'm going to see her spread her wings and fly - that's the point of having kids, right? But right now I can't see more than my tiny baby turning into a little girl. I am so close to her and I love her SO DAMN MUCH it hurts, and while I can't wait to see all the amazing things she'll do I am mourning the fact that someday we'll grow apart a bit and I won't be her #1 anymore. I just want to stop time and keep her little forever... lately I've also been terrified about my decisions hurting her in the future which I'm sure is contributing to this feeling, like "Would having a second child be best for our family?" "What if we don't have a second, will she resent us or be lonely as an adult?" "What if we do have a second and it changes my relationship with her?" "Am I spending too much time at work?" "Am I doing the right thing by working full time?" "Do I read to her enough?" It goes on and on and on. This internal dialog is what makes parenting tough, I think.Here was the tipping point, last night we visited my inlaws and they still had the Christmas tree up... my little one has just started to get skilled at walking. The lights were dim, tree was decorated, she toddled up and was admiring the decorations on the tree. I was already feeling a little wistful then my MIL pulled out a little toy radio/music box my DH used to play with as a kid that plays the tune "Toyland"... Toyland, toyland, dear little girl and boy land... The bittersweet tune of that damn song chimed away with complete silence in the background, and I looked at her and saw an absolute pure smile of delight on her face with the Christmas tree all lit up in the background. It was a perfect memory frozen in time. I had to excuse myself to go to the restroom and cry it out. I'm sure MIL/FIL thought I had lost my mind but this has been a common occurrence for me in private over the last couple of weeks.Anyway, I won't keep this going longer than I have to but can anyone relate? It's to the point where I'm wondering if I need to get some sort of help for it... but maybe parenting is supposed to feel this crazy intense after all. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/35uSh2P