I cannot co-parent with me ex.

My ex and I got pregnant young, and I’m the only one that seemed to grow up. We have two children together a 3 y.o and a 1 y.o and we recently separated because we were arguing constantly and I didn’t want the kids in that kind of environment. We now live separately, I live in my own apartment and he lives in a family owned house by himself. His family are the type to give financially so they can turn a blind eye. When my kids are not at his house, it’s the equivalent of a frat house, he has them the bare minimum, which is just while I’m at work, because we cannot afford daycare and I didn’t want them in daycare originally. I work in EMS so I work long days but only 2- 3, and he is so frustrated by the end of the third day that you can tell he’s checked out... the house is a mess, they are barley changed, my 3 yo is in diapers despite my valiant efforts to potty train, their bed times/nap times/ etc are not enforced...he’s not even attempting to teach them or interact with them. He’s not abusive but he’s neglectful. He’s a child , it’s why I left in the first place, not ready to grow up and adamant that he’s doing “his best”. I know I reproduced with him, and I am responsible for his lack of parenting now....I don’t want to argue anymore, I thought leaving him and involving his family would help but they only enable him.... the 4-5 days I have the kids he doesn’t even see them... He doesn’t give me money we agreed to pay for our own stuff at our own homes despite me having to constantly make sure and pay for him having diapers, wipes, etc. I have to go to his home, make sure it cleaned up and safe for the kids after parties... make sure their clothes are washed, etc. I’m just exhausted.. I know if I tried to keep the kids from him his family would most likely involve the courts and I don’t want courts involved I don’t want my rights to my children controlled by anyone... I’m so scared thinking about the future of my babies... I feel like I’m already losing control and I need advice.Edit: sorry for the long post/ and to add my kids are so sad and desperate to see me by the time I get there they don’t want to be there either from what I can tell. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2RFH6AN