Original PostFirst UpdateSo a year ago I posted in here that my son told me that his dad was watching porn next to him in bed. At the time, I told who I thought I should tell, my lawyer and my councilor. I was told there was nothing anyone could do. I was distraught but I had hoped that maybe being caught would make him smarten up and get his shit together.Almost one year later here I am again. I was notified that cps had been called on my ex because my daughter had reportedly told someone that when her dad is putting her to sleep at night, he sometimes looks at pictures with private parts. It is exactly the same story my son told a year before hand, but now it is happening to my daughter. My son never told his sister what he had witnessed, he was afraid of her seeing it... and here she is a year later saying exactly the same thing. The twist is, she said that her dad told her not to tell anyone, specifically not the babysitter because, "She doesnt want to hear about private parts." She said that when she sees him looking at these things she gets "jealous" because he is looking at their "private parts". She was asked how often this happens, and she said, "Sometimes." when was the last time it happened, "Last week."She at the time was also scratching a lot at her vagina and I asked her what was wrong. She said that she had been really itchy lately and that her dad had put some creme on her. He had not mentioned this at all to me so I had no idea. I straight away took myself to counselling and arranged a doctors appointment for my daughter. My councilor told me that showing children pornography is abuse. She said that if it wasn't already reported, she would have had to. I discussed going to the doctor with my daughter and asked if she would be okay if the doctor looked at her to see why she was so itchy. I made sure she felt as safe as possible and we talked about safe people and not safe people etc. The doctor got her to relax and he looked at her. He said the she didn't have visible signs of damage on her vagina (which is good), but that she had a yeast infection. Her dad had not taken her to the dr. and I dont know what he was putting on her prior to this visit.The following day I was told I had to take the kids in to do an interview with CPS. They wanted to interview them both separately. I was so anxious because in my mind I didn't know what was worse... that my kids wouldn't say anything and he would get away with it... or if they would say something and it was worse than I had expected. I was so nervous I was sick with worrying. The interviews took over two hours. When they were done, the CPS worker and a police officer took me in to another room to talk. They said that both kids refused to talk about it. They said that when secrets were brought up, they both "clammed up" and wouldn't say anything about either event. I was so angry... I said, of course not. She said that he said not to tell anyone... They aren't dumb they don't want to get their dad in trouble. They said that because she wouldnt repeat the story to them, there was nothing they could do. They said "Just keep an ear out and the next time it happens let us know."So they acknowledge it will probably happen again. And instead of stopping it, they just shrug their shoulders and say "There's nothing we can do." "Next time it happens..." "We'll talk to him..." Because he already told them not to tell anyone and they listened. All this did was alert him that he needs to be sneakier and lie harder. I tried to talk to my lawyer but she says, "There is nothing I can do. Im sorry."Everyone says trust the system. Let the professionals handle it they know what they are doing. Well no body is doing shit. Nobody will help me. My kids have the EXACT same story a year apart. They are obviously bothered enough about it to mention it to people. It is damaging them. And nobody will do anything.This man is disgusting. When we were together I caught him sending videos of him jerking off to people while the kids were in the next room while he was supposed to be watching them. He would talk about sexting people and sex stuff in front of our kids when they were two and three years old. He would brag about how he would, "recruit" women for these sex chat rooms he was obsessed with, and that he would send videos multiple times a day. EVERY DAY. I saw him talking to a just legal teenager over text, trying to solicit nudes from her. And when she was not responding how he wanted, sending her naked photos of himself. This is just the little bit of stuff that I KNEW was happening. No mention of all the stuff that I didn't know about (secret accounts, emails, etc). He is a predator. He would never think this about himself, but he is. A sexual predator.And I have to keep sending my kids there every week. And he knows. He thinks that I am fighting him because of all the shit he did in our relationship. He tells people lies about me and makes up bullshit about how I didn't work and I was holding him back. These things are not true. He makes it out that I am all about trying to take money from him. I would gladly give him all his child support back if It meant I never had to send the kids over there again. I don't care about him or his money or anything. I am worried about him hurting my kids, directly and indirectly. My five year old daughter is worried about getting fat because of him and will refuse to eat. My son never feels good enough. I am trying so hard to do right by them but I am fighting against an upward current and all anyone can say is, "I'm so sorry this is happening to you." "Im sorry you are going through this."It is happening to MY KIDS. THEY are the ones that are going through this.I have nothing else I can do. I feel like I have failed as a parent because I can't protect them. I feel like I have failed as a mother because when I am dealing with all of this, in addition to the other tons of stresses that come with trying to navigate life during divorce and after separation, I am exhausted and angry all the time. I try to keep my mood up as best as I can but I feel like I am at the lowest point I have been in years. There is a large part of me that just wants to die because I feel like I can't do anything to help. I am so worried that years from now they will be asking me, "Why didn't you help us? Why didn't stop this?" And they will hate me. I have never spoken ill about their father in front of them, I havent even told them why I kicked him out (lying, cheating etc). I am trying so hard and he just gets to walk away with everything. Ive never felt so helpless and alone and I feel like no body is getting angry enough.To everyone telling me, "You are doing the best you can"... I am. And it isn't enough.edit** I have tried more than once to get my kids in to therapy this past year but was told they are too young. I did finally get a suggestion for a child - play therapist so I will seek that out. But in the mean time my kids are on high alert and won't talk to anyone about this. When we got home from the interview I was upset. I asked my daughter, "how come you didn't tell them what happened? How come you said before that you saw these things, and now you wont talk about it? " She said, "I don't remember that I said that." I said, "Well you did... no one would have made that up." She got upset and said, "If I did see those pictures would I be in trouble?" She was almost crying... I reassured her and told her that of course she wouldnt be in trouble. She just kept saying she didnt want to be in trouble. She wouldn't talk about it after that. She would just say, "I dont remember". She put herself on lock down. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2rLPUdH
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