My in-laws asked me to not speak Chinese to my daughter in front of them.

We are raising our daughters bilingual. I speak Chinese to my 3yo and 1yo and my husband speaks English to her at home. We live in the US so I am the main source of chinese to her. Hubby’s family is American.During this holiday, we are staying at my MIL’s who is also hosting my BIL, uncle-in-law and their families. It’s the first time my older daughter and I have conversed in Chinese to each other in front of the in-laws while staying at my MIL’s home (daughter only a few Chinese phrases here and there during the previous holiday).My BIL has a 2yo daughter and he suggested I not speak chinese in front of his daughter so as to not “confuse” his daughter. My MIL later agreed that I should avoid speaking Chinese while here but for a different reason: because “no one understands what you two are saying”. To be clear, I only speak Chinese to my daughter when it’s between the two of us, not when it includes grandma, her cousin or anyone else. They are asking I not speak Chinese within hearing distance of others.I don’t think listening to a foreign language will “confuse” a young child (I’ve heard other parents explain that we are speaking another language and leave it at that).So on one hand, I don’t want people to feel uncomfortable when I am speaking chinese to my daughter, but I also don’t want my daughter to feel uncomfortable speaking Chinese in public settings. More importantly, she quickly backslides if I stop speaking to her in Chinese as she is in an English dominant environment.My husband defends me and agrees with my stance (he has a background in neuroscience but no one seems to care for his opinion). But I’m starting to feel self-conscious about speaking Chinese to my kids. I don’t want my kids to feel that way when they are with my husband’s family, as if they can’t let anyone hear them speak Chinese. For now, when I speak Chinese to my kids, I wonder if the in-laws feel like I’m rubbing it in their faces.I am mindful no one wants to be in front of two people talking about something they can’t understand. So I’m trying to gauge at what proximity and in what context should I speak English to my daughter so to make others feel included (even when they are not part of the conversation) and when I can speak Chinese to her in a public setting.As a child, I was always reluctant and embarrassed to speak Chinese in public and I don’t want my children to feel that way, especially within their own family.Anyone dealt with this? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2s6kbod