Hi folks,Really need some impartial advice on this one.A bit of background - My wife and I live with our 5 kids full time and my oldest from a previous relationship stays each weekend. He, Son1, has just turned 15. My wife has a son from a previous relationship at 13, Son2, who for all intents and purposes is my son as much as any of my kids. Together we had 3 girls, Girl1-10, Girl2-9, and Girl3-8. And finally, to complete the set our third son, Son3 at 6. Chaotic household but I wouldn't change it for the world.Tonight started out like any other Fridad; I collected my eldest and came back to make some macaroni and cheese. Son2 went swimming with his mates, so I left Son1 and the others in the living room playing various video games as they do, so I decided to chill, have a bong or two since it's Friday and went upstairs to watch Luther.About 30 minutes later, Girl2, the 9 year old came up and dropped the bombshell that "Son1 had been touching her privates and told her to keep it a secret". My world just imploded. Our family is tight night, open and honest. I'm SUPER proud of my little angel for standing up to him, feeling she can trust us enough and speak to us about it right away. She truly is a little warrior. I had all sorts of images in my head of what transpired. How far it went, how long etc.Confronted him right away, and he was a mess. Completely honest about it and faced it without trying to lie or obfuscate. He completely broke down, saying he didn't know what came over him etc. One thing that gave me slight hope was how he reacted. Didn't seem "upset only because he was caught", talking about how he has broken Girl2's trust, hurt her, hurt his Step-mum, betrayed them. No thought for the consequences (just then) and only concerned with damage he caused.After discussion, I found out that it's the first time he tried it with her, he (fuck this is difficult to write, I'm trying to be lighthearted, somehow that makes it better? I still don't feel like it's real) rubbed her vagina and she told him to stop, he then tried to do it again and that's when she said she was coming to tell me. When I came down he was in the toilet scrubbing his hands. Fucking lovely image. I've confirmed events with my daughter, and was only rubbing and not for long at all. Still, this kind of action and intent isn't a gradual scale, you either molest or you don't. There is no "just a wee bit". I still can't help feel relief it was only to this extent.This brings me to the other issue. I feel like I have two conflicting opinions, set of best options to deal with this. Girl2 is such a unique, little sweetheart, caring and artistic and the world is a better place a million times over and she'll do great things. And this has happened to her. My wife thinks I'm not treating it seriously enough. That I somehow value "repairing" Son1 over Girl2. Which hurts a lot.Her brother molested his 9 year old niece few years ago over months, so we've had to deal with shit like this before, albeit from another perspective. Due to this she's really messed up right now - her younger brother was grooming his niece, and another unrelated girl. That's a lot to deal with. Now her step son of 13 years did it to our daughter.I feel exactly the same rage and hurt as her r.e Girl2. I'm broken. But I also feel sorrow, apologetic and just want to take all Son1's pain away to myself. I've had to speak to my ex, who is just concerned about Son1, doesn;t seem too angry.Not sure how to deal with this. I believe it was the first time, he totally regrets it and realises how he fucked up. He obviously can't come up for a while, until Girl2 feels safe, and trusts him some more. Wife just wants justice I guess? I'm completely lost.Sorry for wall of text, but that was quite cathartic actually. Thanks for reading, it means a lot.TL;DR 15 year old son touched 9 year old's vagina, she told on him right away, he tried to stop her from doing so. Fuck knows what to do. No pattern of this behaviour at all, and a stand up kid usually. He was my hero. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2U2fZyh
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