My [39M] son [16M] came out and my wife [37F] took it extremely badly.

Writing this on a throwaway account since I know my son is on reddit.The long and short of it is that my son came out to me and my wife and my wife took it extremely badly. And I don't know how to handle either one of them although for completely different reasons.Basically here's how things happened. Wednesday, when I came home from work my son said he had something to tell me. He was obviously fidgety about something, and after abit of rambling he eventually told me he was gay. To be honest, I already knew. He's a good kid and pretty damn smart, but I'm a programmer and therefore the 'computer guy', I'm the one that everyone calls to fix their computers and laptop. So without drawing a picture, I already knew he was gay.So when he finally came out to me, I was actually kind of relieved. He and I have always had a good relationship but he never told me and I was kind of wondering if maybe we didn't have such a good relationship. In any case, I did the dad thing of telling him that I loved him and all I really wanted from him was for him to be safe and happy. He was just really relieved I guess.Anyway he asked me to be there when he told his mother, which now that I think about it is probably why he came to me first. Now, she is a deeply religious woman. She wasn't always but somewhere along the line she turned from being just somewhat religious to being deeply deeply devout and if I'm being honest, I couldn't really pin down when or how that happened. I'm not religious in the slightest although I do do the occasional church-going and church-related functions to make her happy.Anyway when she got home I waited for my son to take the lead on when to tell her. Its when he told her that things went to hell. I don't think she really believed it at first, probably thought it was some kind of joke or something but when she realized it wasn't, first started crying and then went into what I can only call a rage. He tried to calm her down and I tried to help to get her to not see this as the end of the world. But she kept going on about how this wasn't the plan for him and about grandkids and a bunch of other things. But she just kept working herself into some kind of frenzy.Eventually she went to his room and starts dumping his clothes and tells him to get out of the house. My son is bawling at this point, and I just completely flip out. I order him to go to my bedroom and stay in there. And I just unleash on her. I pretty much say what kind of mother is she and that I'll be 3 weeks dead and buried before I let him leave and she gets angry at me for backing her up on this and that being gay is wrong and bunch of other bullshit. Anyway, after a hell of a heated fight she leaves and goes to stay at her parents.I try talking to my son, he's just devastated and blaming himself for everything. And I'm not sure what to do here. I let my son skip school the last couple of days as a kind of mental health day although I let him know that he will go back on Monday. I haven't spoken to my wife since that night, and I'm not even surewhat I could or should say to her, and I'm not sure how to handle my son either. He's not the usual self and I don't know how to get him to stop blaming himself. He says he wants to spend the night at a friend's house which is fine, I figure his friends can offer different kinds of support than I can. But I'm at a complete loss. I think I did my best although writing this I realized that since I knew he was gay for awhile I should tried to slowly ease her into the idea to make this less explosive or maybe if I stayed calm earlier I could have handled it less emotionally. I just don't where to go from here or how to handle any of this. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2UlROed