when would a child know he is gay? Also, emotional issues, school

I continue to have big emotional problems with my almost 14 yr old. I took him to be evaluated and they did say ASD and likely a mood disorder.There are things about him where we always assumed he was gay. We have gay family members and he always seemed so much like our cousins who are gay from when they grew up. He has not been raised in a gay-rejecting family. If anything, this family is the opposite.A few years ago, he said he felt like he was a girl stuck inside a boy's body. But, he was in public school at the time and he was getting bullied for how he was, which is a boy who loves ballet and did ballet. We took him out and have home schooled him, and emotionally, he seems better.However, now, as he approaches his 14th birthday, he tells me he is not gay. Also, I caught him watching porn a few weeks ago and it was not gay porn.Continuing on, he is not interested in friends outside of his small circle of boys from ballet. He has not expressed interest in girls at all. He is at ballet most days of the week around very pretty girls (ballet dancers) but has no interest in any of them, just his friends who are boys.To add to it, he is super emotional. He has a very hard time getting through school work. He will act like it is the biggest torture and tantrums will ensue. We have been considering sending him to public school in the fall, for 9th grade, but worried that the anti-gay issues of our southern bible belt public school could be an issue. Also, he shortly mentioned he was interested in the Air Force because he loves the space program and shows like Star Trek. The Junior AF ROTC program at our school is just a class and we have a description of what they are learning and it is a lot of flight stuff and the second year is all about the space program, etc.He is very apathetic about going. In the fall, I sent him to a charter school and he was not interested in the kids. He said they were just in to first person shooter video games and such. It was a very small charter school so I get it. I got stuck in a very small school for a little while as a teen and hated it. It was very limiting socially. The regular public school has near 1000 students per grade. (the charter school had about 100 for K through 12).I just do not know what to do. I know this post seems all over the place, but it really is not. IF he is actually gay, then I could see completely why he would not want to go to public school. He tells me the boys at ballet are his friends because they are so much like him and like the same things. They all do like games like Zelda, but none of them are in to first person shooters. They like to be goofy together. And they have cooking parties (half of them are Asian and make foods from Asia) and wear pink and even have stuffed animals.So I cannot tell. I am unsure what to do. Should I just continue to home school him like the boys in ballet (only two go to public school)? Or should I force him back to the public school? Sending him to public school is with the idea that he would expand his horizons. But I am worried that instead of expanding his horizons he is going to be crushed. They do NOT accept gay people. The bullying over it is ruthless.What do you think? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2HwmVyb