The more kids question

I read these threads whenever they come up. I've been thinking about this non stop since my second was born, and I just can't iron out how I feel. If anyone has an opinion, or how you decided, I'd love to hear it.I've seen that you should plan your family for how many people you want around your thanksgiving table. The answer to that question for me is like 100. I think my cap is 4 for sanity and financial reasons.I've seen that you should plan your family for taking family vacations. It seems so overwhelming to take more than 2 kids. I want to experience them experiencing it, and what if I can't with 4? What if I'm so overwhelmed with just managing the survival tasks that I miss everything? I can't know for sure that we will even be able to afford going on vacation with a family of 6, and is that worth it?I'm afraid of the sibling rivalry. My kids are 2 and 3 and it requires so much management. Half of the time they're hitting each other and the other half they're so busy playing together that I can't get them to eat or sleep. I can't imagine making that more complex than it already is. I can handle the crying and the sleepless nights, but watching my kids hurt each other really hurts me. I am starting to accept that it is normal, but it stresses me out a ton. I hope that it gets better as the little one gets more verbal, but I don't know from experience. They're both girls, so I'm expecting an emotional tornado in 10 or so years.I want more kids. I know I do. I just don't know if I should. I worry that I will regret it either way.I've seen a lot of people with more than two say "Its chaos but we love it!" I don't love chaos. I like peace. I like my kids playing together and helping me clear the table. I can handle chaos, and I'm willing to endure it for a favorable outcome, but I know there are no guarantees in life.There are also all of the financial issues. I'm not worried about feeding them, but what about activities and room sharing and vacations and college. We can't afford a full ride at college for the kids we have, and it will be even less if we have more. Is it worth it? Is it worth not going to Disney or having dance classes or their own room? Where do I draw the line? Am I hurting all of my kids by not being able to provide as much for them?How do you make these decisions and be at peace with them? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2vh3yH2