Relatives who are kind of jerks to kids

I'm looking for advice on what to do in this situation. It's nothing new - my 3 year old son is the first grandchild on my in-laws side of the family. Since he was born, my in-laws, mainly my MIL, have these bizarrely out of tune expectations (mostly on what is age appropriate) and they're very, very different parents than I am.Before he was one, any time he cried (which, since he had colic and food intolerances was all the time) my MIL would get right up in his face and say sternly 'get a grip, lardass!' (Seriously, from birth - 1 year old). I just started loudly saying 'actually, he's perfect!' And finally my husband told her she needed to stop calling him that.Since then, there's been a ton of little things like that. I don't talk about how much it irritates me in front of my son, but I firmly believe babies/toddlers aren't dumb, and it's not shocking my son doesn't want much to do with her. I know this really bothers her - she makes comments when he says hello like 'well I just never know what I'm going to get with you' and she asked my husband if he hates his other grandma too (he doesn't).Today was his 3rd birthday party. He wanted to climb up to the table for a snack and she grabbed him around the waist to hoist him up to the table. He's been getting into his chair for at least 6 months, although it's possible she doesn't realize that. My issue isn't her actions here, it's her reaction. My son started growling while in mid air (because he's 3) so I told her - he can climb up on his own. I told my son 'please just say no thank you' because the growling in public is something we are working on (because he's 3 :) ) she jumped all over him - yeah! Just say no thanks ! Get a grip!What I want to say is no, you get a grip, you're the adult. But I also know I won't be able to police every interaction with anyone my son has, you know ? And I think in her own way she does love him - if I try to think critically about it I think she's kind of trying to act like her own mother in law who is a whole other story, but at the end of the day, she's pretty rude (every visit has at least something but this is long enough as it is) and I really think that's why my son doesn't really seem to like her. Do I just go along with it ? Do I say something every time ?Thanks, parents !! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2HyAaOZ