I found a blog I was writing to my son as I was pregnant and that I continued to write for... uh, well let's just say for as long as I could before becoming too busy. Most of the posts that I wrote while pregnant were heart warming. I remember feeling that way and just crying as I was writing them because I already loved him so much.Then, I read the first post I wrote post birth and I also remember how I felt writing it.. I felt bad, really bad. I remember being filled with these dark thoughts, thoughts that I'd never be a good mom (I had been a mom for like 1 day!) and that my kid deserved so much better. My husband was pretty shocked and didn't know how to handle the situation, so to evaluate how bad it was, he asked me 'well do you want to give him up for adoption?' and I know I told him no, because I know that's what he needed to hear but deep down the answer was 'yes' because then I could just disappear (dark, right?)The thing is, I had baby blues. Not even postpartum depression. After a week I felt much better, after a month I was top shape, best momma ever. When I learned that I was pregnant again, I was so fearful, not because I was expecting, but because I didn't want those thoughts to come back, and they never did.I know that you don't know me, but I'm a really happy and cheerful person. Positive, always doing the best I can. I didn't struggle through pregnancy, normal life, everything was and is stable... Nothing could have prepared me for that week of hell. I literally think of it as a week in hell. I didn't feel, I didn't want to feel. And trust me, I'm a person who feels a lot and who shares what I feel with the whole universe.Point being, take care of yourselves mommas. Even if you're a happy person, PPD/ baby blues can hit hard, just know the signs. Partners, family and friends, be there for a mommy who just gave birth, know the signs, be ready to jump in and help. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2qHQTr7
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