Not my "real" baby

TL;DR: Pregnant with a mostly-unwanted 2nd, and husband and I are not at all on the same page.I have a 2-year-old who is my everything, and I was very ambivalent about having any more children after her. My husband has always wanted more than 1, and I was open to the idea until I had our daughter. After that, I just can't imagine loving anybody else as much as I love her, and I don't really want to split my attention from her for more children. We are also kind of squeaking by financially-speaking; not broke but aaaaaalmost paycheck-to-paycheck.I was not on birth control but we were using condoms--except the one time we didn't, and we all know how that story ends. I'm pro-choice politically, but abortion wasn't an option for me personally. I waited a little bit to see if it stuck, and sure enough, it definitely did. I'm about 20 weeks right now.The problem is, I (mostly) feel nothing for this baby. Except maybe a little resentment at taking time/attention/money away from my "real" child. I know it's horrible, and I've tried to talk to my husband about it, but he mostly seems baffled and just kind of ends any conversations I try to start about it. Let me just say, I don't know wtf I'd expect him to do; it's done and we have to move forward, and he's totally not any kind of therapist or anything. But I feel incredibly unsupported and frustrated, and just...alone. He has this idea that it'll all just work itself out, but he has no concept of how I struggle to make sure all of our financial obligations are met every month, and it really feels like he wants to keep it that way.Again, I have no idea what I'd want him to do, but I'm so angry about feeling like this. He snapped at me this morning "why are you mad?" and I snapped back that there was absolutely no point in even trying to talk to him about it anyway, and so now we haven't spoken all day. I spent my lunch break at work curled up in my office, crying, and I'm pretending that my allergies are really acting up today. A few days ago I briefly felt excited as we went through baby stuff and got a couple of things set up, and then the next day I found out we unexpectedly owe $500 bucks for something and I'm right back down in the dumps.I've mentioned feeling like this to my ob, and she just kind of shrugged it off the first time and told me once I felt the baby move, I'd bond with it. Nope. The next time around, I specifically mentioned that I'm worried it means I'm going to have ppd afterward, and she just told me that it's good to stay aware of feeling like that. I'm sure "therapy" is going to be an answer here at some point, but we can't afford it in either time or money. I'm so frustrated and disappointed in myself for feeling like this. I 100% did NOT feel like this when I was pregnant with my first. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2pynHCg