Son wants to join JAFROTC, husband against it

My son wants to join junior Air Force ROTC for next year at the high school. This is my son that currently does ballet most days a week for 2-3 hrs a day. I suspected he could not do it because he is so busy with ballet, so I contacted the people who run it and got details. Apparently, it only happens during the school day (at our high schools anyway, cannot say this about everywhere) and he could certainly continue to do ballet. The person in charge even told me he has had other students in ballet in the past and has found that the discipline and strength taught in ballet can really help with the ROTC. Well, my son wants to be a pilot some day. Also, they do have ROTC activities outside of the school day, but they are not required. They do have some students in things like band who cannot do the outside activities. Since my son wants to be a pilot one day, and military is the best way to get training and all the air hours someone needs to end up employed as a pilot, this could be a great way to get his feet wet and learn a little about it. My son is excited about it.Then, when I tell my husband, realize, my husband has minimal involvement with the kids. For example, today is Saturday. Last night, my husband claimed he had to work so I was the one who got the kids ready for bed, chatted with them, read books, etc. Now, here we are, Saturday morning, I made everyone breakfast and played dolls with our daughter for a while and now am sitting outside with our littlest one while he plays in the sandbox. My husband is upstairs on his computer. I texted him and told him it is very nice outside and I would love it if he sat with me for a bit outside on our patio, but he said no, he is working. He was a bit curt in his response.But anyway, this morning, when he was downstairs getting his breakfast, before he dashed off to his computer, I tried to tell him our son wants to do Junior AF ROTC this fall at the high school. My husband made a face and said "I don't know about that, he would have to be really committed to it." I tried to explain to him that it is only done in the class time hours and anything outside of school hours is not required. The person in charge knows our son does ballet and says there are even some band kids in it. He just kept making his face and saying our son just would need to be really committed and "I don't know.." and I told him that our son would not even spend as much time on that as he does on ballet. And we had a child do karate to the black belt level and orchestra. ALL those things required more commitment. All those things called for many hours outside of school to do as well as a bunch of money from us. No, he said....ROTC is serious thing and we would have to make sure son is very very committed and serious or he cannot do it.Okay..now husband plans to speak to son like this. And I know it is going to scare off son. This class takes no more "commitment" or outside work than art and has way less commitment than the ballet our son is currently in. It is NOT college ROTC!I feel like we are having another class of cultures we were raised in. I was raised by a hardworking family in the midwest. My dad and my grandpa were in the military. My brother was in college ROTC. My husband's family are all just a bunch of partiers and snobs. They would never do any sort of military service. Many of them have criminal records of drunk driving and such so they could never be in the military.I am frustrated. I hate undermining my husband or not having a united front to the kids, but seriously. I think jAFROTC sounds great and I hate the idea that my husband will undermine this too. He always steps in and whatever the kids like or want, he has an opinion contrary. Even when I was in nursing school years ago, he declared it beneath me and insisted "you would never like it" even though it was my life long dream. That was 20+ years ago and he regrets it now. But still. It just shows the type of mindset he is in. He cannot see past his own upbringing and his own upbringing was nasty compared to mine. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2G2UgTU