Biracial 3.5yo becoming aware

Some background: I'm black. My husband is Mexican. My child's birth father is White. Birth father is not allowed any contact with child. He's a heavy criminal,many psychological issues,a sex offender with an interest in children,also tried to kill me and confessed to police that he would have killed us all that day including my child. Unstable and refuses to get any help and has never shown an interest in even caring for my child...which is sad because she deserves so much love and happiness. My husband has been with me raising my child since she was only 6 months so she only knows him as her father.The situation: The other day my child said she is "mixed with" Mexican like her dada(my husband)...and I don't know how to explain to my sweet,intelligent 3.5 year old that she's actually "mixed with" white/euro...without having to have the conversation that her dada is not her birth father...and that her real birth father is a dangerous man that would kill her the second she would even throw a tantrum or tell him no. He's the type that would kill the man raising his birth child even though he can't/won't do it himself. He wants nothing to do with her but if he could,he would fight me on this potential adoption just to have me talking to him again.I know she wouldn't understand fully but it's something I have to think about as she grows. Because I had made the decision that after the name-change and my husband adopting her,I wouldn't bother bringing birth father up because of how dangerous and uncaring he is about her...I can't even say nice things about him or his personalities,I've tried in my head for her sake. I had dated him and lived with him but when the abuse started I was preparing to move back with my family and he figures out..then he did something with my drinks or medicine or something..basically rape and I became pregnant and I did not want to abort her at all because I loved her the moment I saw her.On top of that,we're starting the process of getting her last name changed to my last name (birth father had threatened me in the hospital to write his last name for her..after I had her.) and she's about to have a little brother that will have both mine and my husband's last names. I don't think that's weird because my sister has only my mom's last name while I have my mom's and dad's last names (we have different fathers also) but I know that she will ask about it.Any advice? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2FnW0pR