8 year old won't stay in his own bed

Hi - I have and 8yr old boy and a 5yr old girl. For over two years now, on most nights my boy cannot go a full night without coming into our room and getting into bed. I'd say 5 out of seven nights a week.He has always had some issues with sleeping alone or being separated. At bedtime, 50% of the time he will settle down OK by 8pm, but otherwise he gets lonely and cries for us or wants to share with his sister, or have the cat on his bed or will come up with a hundred excuses to keep us there, so often a 7.30 "lights out" is a battle to 9pm.Even when he goes to sleep OK alone, he'll wake up about 3am and come in to us. Sometimes it's a bad dream, sometimes he just says he's lonely or cold, sometimes he just says nothing gets in and goes to sleep. He then fidgets and is baking hot, kicks us in his sleep etc so one of us has to go and sleep in another bed every time.We have tried :- Sending him back immediately carrying him back after he nods off being encouraging and supportive with him being firm and cross with him letting him share with his sister Night lights on and night lights off Colder room or warmer room Cuddly toys to sleep with giving him our bed and we go in the spare room giving him a sleeping bag on our floor Lavender spray etc. round his room at bedtime Playing an audiobook quietly while he nods offNone of these have really worked and he just keeps getting upset and getting in with us, wherever we are. I'm worried for him of course, his concerns and issues with sleep and why he gets so worried, fostering bad habits etc - but also because the related sleep deprivation is literally ruining us. We (parents) are both stressed, grouchy and tired most of the time, and personally for the last few months I am experiencing major anxiety issues, and I think this is partly down to long term deprived/broken sleep (yeah, ok, join the club!). It's affecting our relationship and affecting our ability at work, neither of which are good for the kids in the long run.The simple answer for that issue would be for us to go to bed earlier, but this isn't really an option as the chores and daily prep need doing, which all parents are well aware of!Has anyone had the same issue, have you solved it? How are you coping? Will he grow out of it? What could we do? Any ideas and comments would be appreciated..... i'm off to get another coffee now... via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2u2N2tu