Why don’t I care about my child?

(Background) mentally, physically and emotionally abused as a child. Always had a difficult time showing loved ones affection/ ect. My son is almost 2, and I have no real emotions towards him. I just don’t really care. It’s really bothering me because I want us to be close. People tell me what he did during his day and I just don’t really care. When I’m at home with him and I play with him I’ll only do it for a few minutes because I’m tired and don’t want to take the time to play with him. We don’t really have a connection. We never have. When he was born there was no “instant love” connection. I just kinda feel like I have a little human to be responsible for instead of a child that I love with all my heart. Any advice? Will seeking help actually help? :/ via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2E0p1Ib