How do you manage work and a newborn without overwhelming one of the partners?

I'm very lucky in many ways: we just had a newborn in what I would say are ideal circumstances. Both me and my partner are in good points in our career, she has a public job that had 6 month maternity leave and while my job has no official paternity leave policy, thanks to flexible hours and being there for a very long time I was able to take two months off in unpaid leave and I can reduce my hours as needed for the next few months. We can afford someone who help us with the cleaning and cooking (because we can afford it and because labour is cheaper in South America so it's common). We have a supportive family that often can come a few days per week and help around for some hours. And our baby, even thou still wakes up 2-3 times every night, isn't the worst sleeper.I thought we would be able to handle it as a piece of cake. The original plan I had was to work part time after one month and almost full time after that - and since I work from home I imagined I could do both, so my wife wouldn't be overwhelmed. I have European and American friends that often live by themselves, have at most help once per week and manage to balance work and family life.I wanted to be that person: I wanted to be a modern couple where I can alternate days and hours with my wife, that we could handle our own kids by ourselves for the most part. I really didn't want to be that couple who hires a nanny during the day and a nurse at night (so many friends do that!). It has been two months and all I could do for work in the second month was some hours meetings and planning. The second month is ending and I don't see how I can go back to work normally.But so far we've been feeling overwhelmed. I feel that unless there's someone else in the house (often our mother in law or my mother) if I leave my wife for a few hours to get some work done on the next room, by the time I come back I'll find her extremely overworked or overtired, because between putting the baby to sleep, breastfeeding and holding her, she can't find a minute to go to the bathroom or drink water. I don't blame her: if I stay alone with the baby I can't do any of those things either.Is that simply it? Those who can't hire help or have a family member basically living with them for six months, how do you manage it? Is it simply a fact of life that the partner that stays at home taking care of the children will be simply overwhelmed all the time? :-( via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2BkG0zD