Son said he "hates my guts"

And I believe him...I have 3 kids, the oldest boy in question is 16, an 11 year old daughter, and 5 year old son. My relationship with my other 2 kids is great, but with my eldest son it's always been strained. I think he's had ODD from an early age. When younger he would outright refuse to do simple chores and it's gotten worse. He's stolen my car multiple times, crashing it, and once I caught him driving it 106 mph on Snapchat, stolen from me, doesn't lift a finger, steals alcohol, does drugs, etc... I've actually dwindled the house rules to:No drugs in my houseDo not yell at your mother (my wife), or your siblingsDo not yell at or disrespect meNo leaving rotting food dishes in your room.The rules used to be plenty, but after years of running away, threatening suicide, irrational reactions to simple requests I've left only these 4 bare bones rules of the house. But no matter what, I go into his room and plates of dishes are under his bed with rotting food. Stolen beers in his drawer. I tell him to put them away and he's losing his T.V. for a week and he looks at me as straight faced as possible and tells me he "hates my guts", and when he turns 18 he'll leave this house and never speak to his mother or I again. If I insist he do it he says "no, what are you going to do?", at this point I'm seething, but really I can't do anything and he knows it. And I believe every word he says. I have no doubt that I'll never have a relationship with him again.My wife and I had him very young, we've been through poverty, working night jobs and both obtained a Master's Degree in our fields. We sacrificed and we both feel like our relationship with our child is finished and it's devastating to my wife and I, worse than that it's likely to end our marriage.Has anyone been through this? Is there any hope? He refuses to see a psychiatrist or therapist, says if he's ordered he'll just lie and tell them what they need to hear. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2C1QhC6