Not a throwaway because what am I afraid of, right?My wife [34F] and I [33M] have a two-year old and have been talking about going for baby number two. She's ready to start trying, I'm not sure I want a second kid ever.We both work full-time in professions that require us both to travel pretty regularly. I work from home about 50% of the time, but spend about half my time on the road. She travels once every 6-8 weeks for 3-4 days. My mom and her husband live with us, and "Nana" provides full-time child care during the week. All the adults get along really well (amazingly) and our kid is an average two-year old (neurotypical, good health, etc).My problem mostly has to do with not wanting to suffer through pregnancy and infancy again, and being selfish about my wife's time and attention. We've been together since we were teenagers, and the baby has been a big shift (obviously) in our dynamic. She suffered from mild to moderate post-partum for most of her first year of parenting, and I had a massive depressive episode at the same time. I've always kind of been the positive emotional center of the relationship, but she was so unhappy for so long that I kind of had to distance myself for my own sanity. We're both doing much better now, but the emotional distance has caused some problems in our relationship, to say the least.A year ago she got a promotion that caused us to move halfway across the country, so we're distant from our friends and family, (other than my mom). We have made a few family trips out to see everyone over a few holidays this year, and each of them left me feeling like they were more trouble than they were worth, and that with all the needs of a toddler, (diapers, stroller, food, toys & stuffed animals, clothes) I'd rather just forego the headache and check out of our old lives with family and friends until he's older.To make things more complicated, my travelling for work has taken me back to our old "hometown" several times, and any time I see old friends on my own, people are SO excited to see me. We don't have to do anything except hang out and catch up, and I always feel highly valued and appreciated by my friends. This is in stark contrast to the treatment I get at home, where nothing is ever good enough for the baby and for the wife. My year on the road has easily been one of the happiest of my life, but I realize that has put an extremely unfair burden on my wife.I'm currently working out a plan with work that will allow me to stay home around 80% of the time, but I also feel like I'm making an enormous sacrifice of things that I love for people who don't appreciate me anyway. I want to do right by my wife and the baby, but as far as I'm concerned adding a second kid to the mix essentially means the romantic side of our relationship is over. I want to get started reconnecting with my wife now, not three years from now once the second baby is starting to show some independence.So, how do other parents out there feel? Did your relationship survive child #2? Did you end up splitting up? Are you happier now? Is there any chance of long-term happiness as a parent, or is it just varying forms of suffering until you die?Really trying to make as informed of a decision as possible here. Thanks for the input. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2j8jUcI
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