4yo daughter needs to perform tasks HER way, or SCREAMS... am I coddling her?

This is my first post in /r/parenting… I apologize if this topic has been broached. My 4yo daughter has a real problem with… I wish there was a word for it. Almost like a preschool OCD thing where certain things have to be done by her, and done in a certain way, in a certain order. Often these are things that would be easy for me to do but lead to angry screaming when I try to help… then take FOREVER when she does them, and then lead to frustrated screaming when she has trouble (no-win). Zipping her coat in the morning is a daily issue, for instance. Sometimes it feels like there’s a whole set of rules she has… it seems like every day, I’m walking on eggshells with her, worried I’m going to do something that will set her off. I’m pretty sure that this is NOT how a parent should be, afraid of their child and the reaction she might have. I feel like coddling her and doing everything her way is not a great solution, but at the same time, she really has such psychic pain when things go differently that no matter how trivial these things are, they are real and big and scary to her. So… I dunno, looking for advice, but also looking for commiseration.TL;DR: 4yo daughter needs to do a million tasks in a certain way, certain order—I’m walking on eggshells and not loving it. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2kBG9IO