I'm sorry, this is very long, but if anyone has any insight or advice I would very much appreciate it.My son will be turning three next week.To give a bit of background, I was married to an abusive man (his father) until my son was 1 and a half. I was able to divorce him and get full custody due to drug and alcohol problems. And neglect of my son and abuse towards me. After gaining full custody I moved 2,000 miles away to live with family. So, in a six month span I left his dad, moved across the country to stay with family and then moved again a few months later. I don't know if my son remembers any of this, but that's a lot for a little kid to deal with. Maybe deep down he sort of does and I don't know if any of his issues are related to that or I am just over worried.I am in therapy myself and I have talked a little about what's going on with my son, but I'm wondering if maybe he needs family therapy or play therapy. One of the last things my ex-husband said to me was "I hope he turns out just like me and gives you hell". So, to be honest that still rings in my head every time he has a bad tantrum and I don't know if that's what makes me think it's worse than it is. Anyway, onto my son's behavior.When I was still with his father, my son would SCREAM every time I was not with him for HOURS. It didn't matter who I left him with usually. I thought it was just an attachment issue, but I kind of figured out that it was because he was being neglected while I was at work. He doesn't have that problem much anymore.Around the time I left his father, he started doing this thing where when he was mad he would hit his forehead on the walls and ground. I looked into it online and it said it was normal for his age and they would grow out of it. So, I kept an eye on it and he did stop doing that after about six or seven months.Now, my son will not sleep if I'm not in bed with him. And he will cry and scream. We have a bedtime ritual. And I will get him settled into bed, read him a book, etc. And once I turn the lights out he will start begging me to get in his bed. I've tried sitting next to him, holding his hand, sitting across the room, going in the other room... And he will scream for at least an hour, not exaggerating. Until he wears himself out. Some nights, he will sleep for four hours, some for one hour before he's up trying to crawl in my bed. I take him back to his room and it repeats with him screaming his head off for an hour. Last night I ended up falling asleep in his floor and he woke up about four or five times to do this. And we've been up since four am with him throwing a tantrum.One of the things I worry about is that he is quick to get mad. And a lot of times it's for literally no reason. But, he will start biting himself, hitting himself in the face and often times he will actually pull on his penis VERY hard. He will sometimes slap me and kick me, but will restrain himself because he knows he shouldn't hurt me. He will beg for things like water or food while throwing a tantrum and then scream if you offer it to him. If he asks for food or water I will offer it once or twice so I'm not denying him, but then will ignore the rests of his "demands". I know that he is doing it for attention which is why I ignore him, but this has been going on for over six months. I thought it would be something he would grow out of if I ignored it, but it's not happening. Generally, when is acting this way I will have him sit in his "time out" chair until he calms down. I do sometimes tell him gently that he doesn't need to hurt himself to get my attention and other times I just ignore it until he calms down.Other parents have told me their kids are jerks at times and some of his tantrums do seem like normal two year old tantrums, but sometimes it gets so out of hand. Has anyone else gone through anything similar? I don't have any other concerns about his development. He is almost fully potty trained including staying dry at night (he just won't go unless we are at home so he wears pullups when we go out), he is a fast learner, is very affectionate and inquisitive.Has anyone else had a toddler in family or play therapy that can give me some idea what it's like? If you read all of this thank you so much! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2o3au4M
No comments:
Post a Comment