Grandmother demanding time

My mother has expectations that our young (3 yr, 4 mo) kids spend a lot of time with family, but for a lot of reasons it's very difficult for us to get out of the house (wife disabled, demanding career, etc), meaning we miss a lot of family gatherings. It's way more convenient for people to come to us, but it never happens. Today I had to cancel plans to bring my oldest over there to play, because he's sick, and she's giving me the guilt trip over it. I get regular phone calls about how we need to make spending time with family a priority, but we're doing all we can. Is anyone else in a similar situation? Am I being selfish not going through the work to get my kids around to see their family?The big one: has anyone else instituted a policy whereby visits need to happen where the kids live, rather than the relatives? Is this okay to do? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2hIhqy8