Words hurt

A few weeks ago, I was in Old Navy and I heard a woman say, in a VERY nasty tone "WHY WOULD *I* WANT TO HOLD IT??" . The store was nearly empty and she was loud. A few seconds later, she came whipping past me followed by a little boy, maybe 4 years old. He was holding something in his arms. I smiled at him as he passed and he smiled at me, next thing you know, the mom comes whipping back around grabs him hard by the arm and starts in a mean voice " I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVER TRY TO TAKE YOU ANYWHERE! WHY DID I THINK I COULD BRING YOU HERE?" And SO ON... Parents...your children did not ask to be born to you. Your words will have long lasting effects on your children and their self-images. Just be the damn grown-up and drop your ego by the wayside, FFS. They will be gone from your life soon enough, just fricking enjoy them, PLEASE! And stop saying mean shit to your kids! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/32yJGvX

A parent tried to start a physical fight in a mall because I confronted her about two comments she made about my son.

Sharing this because this was incredibly frightening. I was in a clothing store with my 4 year old. My son wasn't behaving great by any means and took off down an aisle running.Another family was in the store (mom, dad, 2 kids). The mom made a comment while staring at me saying "at least I'm not the one chasing my son around a store."So be it. I go to check out (small store). The family gets in line behind me. The mother tells her kids "oh don't let that boy bother you just ignore him. I know, I know. He is bad."I turned around and said "I'm sorry, do you have an issue with my son?"She stammers, the man with her starts claiming I'm being "disrespectful" and that they were talking to their kids. Mind you, that wasn't the case. I put the items i was going to purchase back and left.We sat down in the food court with my son's dad. The guy from the store storms out and confront my son's dad, starting off with "I know your wife is fucking looking at me and she's a bitch."In front of my 4 year old. My son's dad told us to head over to a different store and somehow got the guy to calm down.So this was a first as a parent. A bit shaken over it but I didn't want my son to think what the family behind us said was okay. Almost ended in a mall brawl. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/32CuRIP

My daughter made a racist comment about her own race when talking about boys with friends.

My daughter is 12 and had a sleepover last weekend. I wasn't hovering but our home is small and there isn't much privacy. I guess tween girls forget this because they had a lot of conversations with very little volume control. Some of these convos were about boys. I am not worried. My daughter will be 13 in May. I know boy talk is normal at this age.A specific boy was mentioned. It should be noted that this boy is a friend of my daughter's and one of the few kids in the entire middle school that shares my daughter's racial background. I am guessing that is why the girls, who were al white, linked him to my daughter. My daughter made a very nasty and racist comment about his race. I will not say exactly what she said but she used a slur. It was along the lines of, "Eww. Are you kidding? I would never date a (insert racial slur)." The other girls laughed and one said that she was the same race. My daughter said she was but she wasn't one of them. It was shocking and I damn near ran into the room and kicked all of them out. I refrained from doing that and have yet to address it because I don't know what to say. I don't want my daughter to feel like she is being spied on. I wasn't trying to overhear but I couldn't help it. I also have no clue what to even say. Obviously it was wrong but maybe she is struggling too? I don't think she ever said anything to this boy and still has hung out with him since but never with her other friends. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2wRERlH

My firstborn daughter is creeping ever closer to the age where she's gonna ask me about her biological dad in a much more grown up way

She'll be ten in April. She knows that my husband is not her biological father. We started dating when she was almost three and he legally adopted her last summer. It's not some secret. She remembers him showing up in her life and knows that he wasn't there when she was born.When she was a toddler, she asked all the time why she didn't have a dad. She hasn't asked me a question like that in almost seven years. But I feel like the day is inevitable when she asks me about her biological dad in a much more grown up way than a toddler wondering why she doesn't have a dad. She's going to ask from the perspective of someone who understands how babies are made.Here's the real story: I was 20 and a wild child. I would constantly drink and sometimes do cocaine/ecstasy and routinely hook up with random strangers. One night in the summer of 2009 I picked the first guy who agreed to come home with me at the bar, took him home, and about a month later was told by a doctor that I was pregnant.I know who the guy is. I told him I was pregnant with his child. And I never heard from him again after that. He ran. He has never met the child he fathered. I have no idea where he is today. I can't find any social media activity for him after the fall of 2012. For all I know he's been dead this whole time.I left the alcohol/drug crazed lifestyle in the past the minute I found out I was pregnant. Now I'm in my early 30's and have developed a healthy relationship with responsibility and a much more genuine faith in God. I'm ashamed of a lot of the behavior that led up to it, but I don't regret it at all, because my daughter saved my life, and her birth set into motion the chain of events that led me to meeting my husband, the man of my dreams, who has since fathered my second daughter and adopted my first.My question is, for parents who have had to explain something like this to their kid: How much detail did you go into? How old was your kid when they asked? I know it's coming some day. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2wMoBCq

Why parenting is the worst and best thing ever!

Situation with my toddler this morning which reminded me how hard parenting can be but also how great it is as well.Almost three year old son wanted to take his socks off his feet, put them in his hands and eat breakfast that way. Gross, no way, throws a fit and eventually gets over it.After breakfast he puts his socks on his hand anyways. Whatever dude, just let me get ready as long as you don’t put them in your mouth. 10 minutes later he runs to the bathroom to go and cannot get his socks off his hands in time and had an accident in his pants.I’m frustrated as of course we are already late and now I need to get clean clothes and clean up pee from the bathroom floor.Now the good part I have a talk with him and tell him to ask for help with going potty if he needs to. I told him he’s been doing so good with going potty on his own but he can ask for help if he needs it. Aka when you have socks on your hands like gloves.He gives me a huge hug says “sorry” and then says “love you daddy” unprompted. Instantly makes my frustration go away as it’s not that big of a deal and reminds me how important it is to tell your kids you love them. We tell our boys all the time that we love them but it makes me feel even better when they say it to us first, not just repeating it back to us.I gave him a huge hug, double high fives and have had a pretty great day since then. There’s bigger things to worry about than getting frustrated by a small accident and there’s always time to tell your kids you love them. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2I73VaB

Does anyone pretend to not notice crap your kid does just because you don't feel like dealing with it?

Throwaway account, just in case kids happen upon this. Also, this is probably going to be a little rant-y, so you might want to skip to the TL;DR.I have a blended family, and there are four teenagers at home. This post particularly refers to my oldest teenage boy in high school (he's 16). Now, let me just say, ultimately, he's a good kid. He has a good heart and soul. He doesn't get into fights, he doesn't do drugs (that I know of), he has friends, he loves his dog, he sometimes comes to me for life advice, and despite some of his actions, he really does care about his family. He checks in with me (mom) every day when he gets home from school and hugs me when I'm about to cry because of PMS.Having said that, this kid has been giving me fits since he was 4. It's just one thing after another. I can't properly put everything into context with a single post, but hopefully you guys will get the idea.I ask him to take out the trash. He doesn't. He leaves things like q-tips on the counter in his bathroom. They accumulate for DAYS if I don't check. There's a trash can RIGHT THERE. Lately, instead of throwing them away, he hides them in his bathroom closet, which is ACROSS THE ROOM from the trash can (!??!).I ask about his homework, I practically sit on him to make sure it's done, but he just DOESN'T TURN IT IN (WHY?! 'I dunno'). Teachers say he's respectful and pleasant, and every year they say he is extremely intelligent and capable, but sometimes just plain refuses to do his work in class. As a result, his grades suck.If someone else has leftovers in the fridge, he'll be the jerk that eats it without asking.If I ask who made this particular mess or left the orange peels on the couch, he probably did it.I got a truancy letter from the school the other day, turns out the little gremlin has been skipping classes every so often.The other kids complain sometimes that he's bossy and rude. Not violent or anything, just basically a dick.If his room is filthy, I take the xbox cord and tv cords and say, hey, just clean your room and you can have them back. Does he clean his room? Nope.I talk to him. I try to level with him. I fuss at him. I ground him. I take away the phone. I give home extra chores. I bribe him. And sometimes I holler more than I should. And then sometimes...I just don't wanna deal with it.Sometimes I don't want to argue about the q-tips AGAIN. Sometimes I don't want to even look at his room, because I'm sure it's a mess, and I don't feel like having that song and dance again right now. Sometimes I don't want to look at his progress report, because I know it's probably going to suck, and I don't feel like going through the why's and what-can-I-do-to-help's. Sometimes I cringe when the school calls and I just screen it, because screw it, I'll deal with it tomorrow.I know turning a blind eye is definitely not going to fix anything, and I try not to do it frequently. I know it's not fair to the other kids (who generally don't push the limits as much), but damn. I think I get tired of him being in trouble more than he does.Also, before anyone suggests it, he's been tested for ADHD. Please believe me when I say I've tried standing back and looking at the situation objectively from every angle I can think of, along with his myriad of teachers over the years, his doctor, MY therapist, etc. It's more like...rebellion or something rather than specifically an ADHD or other medical/cognitive problem. It's almost like he spends MORE effort to just lowkey push those buttons. Just SSDD.What gives? And, does this make me a bad parent? I can't be alone in feeling like this, right?Edit: Redundancy. I got a little repetitive in there with my ranting.TL;DR : Teenage kid pushes a lot of little buttons that I sometimes pretend to not notice because I've already fought 1,462 other repeat battles with him this week via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2T34ys8

Single mom of 10 year old boy

I'm having a really rough time. Some background info, I'm 30 I had him very young. He's never known his dad and I don't get child support nor do I know where his dad is. I'm going to school full time.I feel like I'm messing everything up. He doesn't do well in school and I don't know how to help. I don't have a stong support group. My parent's weren't great parents so I'm trying to bed better than them with no foundation to stand on. We have a routine, I feel like thats atleast one good thing. Bed time, read before bed, right now were reading where the red fern grows. He has a weekly chore chart that is posted. His teachers and I communicate daily by something called a reminder sheet and he gets certain rewards or punishments baised on the tally of reminders. I feel like im trying but nothing is good enough. He seems happy enough but he's never been a very good communicator and I feel like there's something bellow the surface. I tried taking him to therapy but that guy was awful. Without insurance the only place I can take him is an hour drive away durring the heavest traffic time. I can't work because of school so that really puts a damper on out of the house activities. The park is nice and we like going for walks in the woods but right now even driving somewhere puts a damper on my budget. It's getting really hard. I have one year left for school and things will get so much better. I knew I would have to male sacrifices for school and I was more than ok with that, but as he's getting older I see that he's also having to make sacrifices, that wasn't something I planned for. I also feel like hes really missing the influence of a male role model but what can I do. My dad isn't the best, I have 2 friends, 1 guy, and hes not a great role model. My brother lives in another state, and I'm not getting into a relationship just to let my son have a male influence. Thats something that grows with trust not just because mom has a boyfriend. I also don't have time for a relationship anyways. I'm so lost, I feel so alone, I don't know how to help my boy. I just need one more year and things can start to change but it feels so far away. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2wLvAeS