I don't feel like my baby's parent

Hi,My baby is now 7 months old, so I've been thinking about this on and off for a while, trying not to let it get to me.I don't feel like I love my baby as a mother should.I guess I don't feel like I love her in any way that is different to how I love my husband, or my siblings. From the get go there's been a definite sense of responsibility, and I know I'm a good caretaker of her, but I don't feel like a mother. I never had that "love at first sight" or rush of emotions. I do love her more at some times than others - she's a cute, easy to care for baby, she's easy to love.As an example, today we were sleep training at nap time. I don't ever like letting her cry for too long (I'm a SAHM, she's my first priority so it feels cruel and unnecessary for me personally) but I wanted to be firm today, so I stood by her cot and shushed her, lullabied etc but refused to pick her up. She went on for a while and eventually went to sleep. This wasn't gut wrenching for me. I feel a bit of guilt thinking back on it because it's obviously not nice to have any baby cry herself to sleep, but I don't feel emotional about it. She was completely safe, she knew I was there, she just had a "tantrum".I had miscarriages before my baby (and she's my only child). I was keeping an eye on my emotions then too, wondering when I'd start to feel like a mother, when I'd start to feel like I loved my babies and it never really happened until the grieving process which hit like a truck basically. So I know I must have loved my babies in some way.With regards to PND - I've had a few down days here and there but they pass fairly soon.I know not everyone has instant attachment, I know everyone's probably going to tell me "this is normal", but... is it normal? My baby deserves a mother who loves her as a mother should.Please help. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MrHFvN

Weekly - Ask parents everything - July 30, 2019

This bi-weekly thread is meant as a place for non-parents and parents to ask questions to the community.Note - Remember that all questions and responses must adhere to our community rules.For daily questions see /r/Askparents via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2GC53Tw

Finally got both kids to eat dinner

So my 10 year old won’t eat anything I cook because she’s a turd, and my 2 year old will eat anything but meat. I’ve been struggling with this for MONTHS. Tonight I made breakfast for dinner. Eggs, toast, bacon, sausage, and ham. Both kids ate everything. Licked their plates clean. I was so happy that they ate, I let them have desert. Mango gelato topped with nerds. Definitely not the healthiest by far, (I’ll probably have a heart attack after eating that or at least gain 10lbs) but it’s a win in my book. Now back to healthier meals and complaining lol. I just had to toot my own horn for a sec. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2Yey7LB

My 5yo shared rocks for share day

It was share day at my sons daycare and so he was going to bring some of his cars to show his friends but ended up forgetting them in my car. When I picked him up from daycare I saw rocks in his cubbie and asked them why he had them. He told me that since he forgot his cars in my car that he found some cool rocks from outside and shared those instead. It just makes me so happy that he has that optimism. I feel like I did something right lol. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2OuaV7D

12 year old son thinks his dad is gay and wants to come live with me full time

So my ex and I have joint custody over my 12 year old son. He goes between homes and is pretty well adjusted.He is a huge snooper and one day found a giant dildo in his dad and step moms bedroom. He brought it over here to show his friends who live at our complex and I had no idea this thing was in my home until his father came over to take it back. We talked about how he needs to stay out of other peoples bedrooms, ect, and I thought that was it.A couple months ago he came to me declaring that knows his dad is gay.He was once again snooping and he found a gay magazine and some gay porn and put it together that the dildo was his dads. So the entire time I’ve known his father, 15 years, I’ve always know he was bisexual. It’s never been a big deal.My son is totally flabbergasted. He doesn’t understand why his gay dad is married to a woman (especially a woman who he absolutely does not like) and he feels like his dad has been and is lying to him. He has told me he doesn’t care that his dad is gay but he hates that he’s being untruthful to him.This has been like the final nail in the coffin on the decision that he no longer wants to split time between our homes. Hes declares he only wants to visit on the weekends. He’s never really liked going to his fathers (step mom he doesn’t get along with, younger step and half siblings he feels get more attention) and now it’s like a battle to get him not to be mopey or sad when he knows he’s got to go to Dads.I am at a loss as to what to do.I’ve let his dad know that our son is onto his “secret” but I don’t know if that knowledge will change anything. His father is not a bad person but he is kind of selfish and I honestly don’t think he will take the time to explain anything to our son. I don’t feel like it’s my place to talk about it either. My best friend is gay so it’s not like this is a whole new experience for my son, he knows homosexuals but he’s just really hurt that his dad is hiding things from him.If my son pushes his father to let him stay full time at my home I know it will come back on me and somehow be my fault. He’s in 7th grade this upcoming school year and I’ve told him that he’ll have more voice in mediation once he’s a little older, so he should just sit back and finish out middle school and before high school starts we will go back to court and see if our mediator will take his wants into consideration.Since this whole thing has started he has been fighting with his step mom more (one fight ended up with her freaking out and breaking his skateboard into two pieces), stealing money from them, and being extremely disrespectful to step mom and his dad. It’s gotten to the point where several times he’s been dropped off at my home because he’s being such a monster, and that’s exactly what he wants. He’s a peach to me and my partner. A little snarky sometimes but never to the extent that he gets at his dads.Any advice? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2ylrvvp

Parents who didn’t find out gender till birth....

Totally worth it? Big mistake? How did you feel once the told you? Was it amazingly cool?I just wanna know the good, bad, and ugly if there is any! via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2yl1zjx

She said she loves me!

After one year and seven months, my ten year old foster to adopt kid said she loves me! We have always been open about saying it to her and have not even discussed her saying it to us, she did it on her own! Super exciting after so much anxiety, trust building, counseling, constant reassurance, and support. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2MvrLAe