Like the title says, I have no idea what to do. I’m a mom of four children, the fourteen year old being my oldest, my other kids are 9 (f), 7 (m), and my youngest just turned two (f). My daughter is successful in school, she just started her freshman year of high school, seems to have a good social circle of friends (not getting into anything questionable, and her dad and I like her friends) and is seemingly not doing anything out of character for a 14 year old girl. I found out she is pregnant last Saturday morning, when I found a receipt and part of a wrapper while cleaning our downstairs bathroom for a first response pregnancy test. I had taken her to a Walgreens clinic last month because she was nauseous and having headaches (which clearly went right over my head, her being pregnant didn’t even cross my mind) and the doctor had said it might be hormonal, stress, but nothing to give her and after a well check didn’t find anything wrong. I had no idea she was even sexual active, and we have been pretty open with her and our nine year old daughter, because we want our children to be well informed and feel like they’re able to talk with us and come to us. My 14 year old is well aware of contraception options, that birth control isn’t 100% and you can get pregnant even if he doesn’t ejaculate, etc. My daughter has always been boy crazy since we can remember and has had “boyfriends” in elementary school and middle school but we weren’t concerned because it was an innocent crush. I knew back in early summer of this year she was dating a boy, but always seeing him with friends, never one on one. My parents were extremely religous and strict and I wasn’t allowed to date until I moved out at 18 and met my now husband, and so I’ve tried to give her a lot of freedom without letting her do whatever she wants, maybe that was my mistake. On Saturday I waited until her dad was at work and her siblings except were at my sisters house. I took her through the coffee bean drive thru and tried to make it a date with her and I, since we don’t often have one on one time. I asked her about what I had found and she froze up and started getting ready eyed until she was sobbing. I wasn’t prepared and didn’t even know what to say, and after letting her cry I asked her when this happened, was it positive, who was the boy, etc. My daughter said it was the boy she was dating in summer who also goes to her school, they started having sex in summer at his house when no one was home, when she said she was with friends. I asked her what she thinks her options are and she said she doesn’t want to have an abortion (she’s probably too far long anyway) or give the baby up for adoption. I’m taking her to the obgyn tomorrow, but doing the math she thinks she’d be around 14 weeks pregnant. She’s always been thin but looks significantly older than her age, and has always gotten a lot of attention from men, and she isn’t showing even a little bit. The dad is a year older so around 15 or 16. I feel like such a failure as a parent, and I know her dad will be devastated and so beyond disappointed. She’s always been a daddy’s girl and I know it will break his heart. I had her pretty young, my husband and I married right before I turned 19 and had her at 19. But 19 years old is a world of a lot different than 14, she won’t be 15 until May. We are very blessed and my husband works a very high paying job and we can afford a big house and everything our kids need, but we didn’t want anymore kids (our two year old was a surprise) and essentially we will be stuck raising another baby. I don’t know how we’re going to tell her dad, she hasn’t told the guy who got her pregnant yet or anyone except her best friend, and I just don’t know what to do. She seems happy but scared, and she told me about a YouTube she watches Maddie and everly, who is a 15 year old girl that just had a baby and it worries me too that this might not have been an accident. I’m sorry if this is long and scrambled it’s just how I’m feeling right now, I never thought we would be dealing with this and now I’m terrified she’s going to set an example for her siblings. Any advice is appreciated, thank you. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2xRab1E
