I think my daughter's friend is a manipulative little turd, and would like some outside perspective.background: We have two daughters that are very close in age, they have friends in common and generally get along great with each other's friends.Two years ago, Kid1 makes a new friend, LT. Her parents are nice and totally normal; they also have a toddler.There's been a few sleepovers, at our house and at LT's. One time when LT was over here, she asked to use the computer. I said no as it needed new anti-virus installed. She kept asking repeatedly, then claimed she needed to use it to do her online homework and her dad wouldn't let her use the computer at home (which I HIGHLY doubted as her dad is in high tech and seemed pretty indulgent with her). I was really surprised at how insistent she was - I had to firmly tell her no, and to stop asking.Last summer: joint birthday sleepover party to celebrate both kiddos b-days. Kid2 is not so keen on Kid1 inviting LT, but Kid1 says it's not fair, and we invite her.LT wanted to go bike riding but only had flip flops, so she wears Kid1's sneakers that are at least 2 sizes too small. I tell her that they are too small and she will break them, but she doesn't take them off. I decide not to push the issue.LT says she wants to bike to the school, but Kid1's BFF is not allowed to ride that far w/o adult supervision. Kid1 tries to get LT to agree to bike closer, where BFF is allowed to, but LT insists and it sounds like LT is deliberately trying to exclude BFF.Playing outside, LT gets mad at Kid1 and throws a brick at her, she missses (I don't hear about this until weeks later).The sleepover guests all turn out to be Kid1's friends. In the past, Kid2 has slept with them also (they all sleep in the living room). This time, as the girls are deciding who sleeps where, LT says in a nasty rude way to Kid2 "you have a bed, USE IT" (as in, get lost). I'm flabbergasted, but Kid2 takes it in stride.So at this point, I am just DONE. I tell Kid1 that LT is not allowed back, period. Kid2 should not be subjected to that kind of treatment, especially in her own home. LT was rude to Kid2, Kid1's BFF, and me, not to mention the brick throwing! Kid1 continues to be friends with LT, sleeps over at LT's, but when LT asks to come over here, Kid1 explains that she isn't welcome and the reasons why. I believe that LT told her mom, and Kid1 had to explain it to LT's mom. LT's parents say they will work with her on the bad behaviors.Fast forward 8 months or so. Kid1 says that LT has turned a new leaf and is nice to everybody now. Kid2 concurs and agrees we can allow her to come over, there are visits for months with no issues.Today, Kid1 hangs out with LT and asks if LT can sleep over. I said no, as I'm recovering from the flu. "But we won't disturb you, promise!" etc. I still say no. But LT doesn't have a ride to other friend's party tomorrow, if she slept over then we can give her a ride "otherwise LT won't be able to go to the party and she really wants to go". I bring up the possibility of pick her up tomorrow, but no sleeping over tonight. Kid1 keeps pushing the issue, which is very unlike her. Of course I do not give in, and she can tell that I am irritated. After we hang up the phone, she sends a text asking again. WTH.I explain to Kid1 that by making sleeping over tonight about LT's ability to go to the friend's party tomorrow was manipulative, similar to how the computer use was all about LT's "online homework". Like I'm the bad guy, preventing LT from doing her homework and going to a party(!).I think this kid is a master manipulator and just all around not a good influence. I don't want to interfere with my daughter's friendships (my mom was a bit too controlling, so I try to give my kids more autonomy) but honestly I don't like her hanging around LT.If anybody has advice, I'd appreciate it. Thanks for reading, sorry it turned out so long! via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2dvpSPn
