Weekly - Things my kid said - to share all the things your kids say. - September 01, 2016

This is a weekly thread where you can share the things you're kid said to you that made you laugh/cry/go on a mad rampage.If you'd like to talk daily about things your kids say, feel free to visit /r/thingsmykidsaid via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2chTwLs

Help with my 5 year old!!

Hello mommys and daddys!My son just turned 5 and, I am not shitting you, the minute he turned 5 he turned into a 15 year old. He's mouthy, impatient, rude, argumentative and so on. It's almost like he's a whole new child. He has always been a very reasonable child; as an only child he gets a lot of attention as in we take time to explain things to him and try to talk things through rather than yell and punish. This is why this has been so difficult. I know a lot of it has to do with the fact that he's on summer vacation and basically has no routine (I tried but he's an outdoor kid and would prefer being outside to doing anything else, keeping him indoors is a feat in and of itself, never mind trying to get him to actually do indoor activities), and he's probably sick of seeing my face since I've been home with him all summer. I have been stressed about work and such and so we have spent a lot of time butting heads. I will be the first to admit that I have not been the most patient and a lot of his behavior is a reflection of my own.Anyhow, that being said, I am attempting to come up with things to attempt to make our lives a little easier. I have done a lot of research on his behavior "issues" and how to "fix" them, but some of the research has left me with even more questions. I am hoping some mommys and daddys out there may be able to help.Two of our biggest issues are: arguing incessantly about EVERYTHING, and whining. I don't want to nix the arguing all together because I want him to be assertive and stubborn in other aspects of his life, especially as he gets into adulthood (I was like that but my parents suppressed me to the point where I question any assertiveness before I do it). I just want him to understand that there is a time and a place, that there is a line, and that if he wants to debate or negotiate there is a way to do it where we will be more inclined to listen (using a nice tone, being respectful, and so on.) Does anyone have any advice on how to acheive this? I read that when it comes to safety, routine, responsibilities, mom or dad should allow one rebuttle and then simply state "this is the way it is" and that will be that. However, if it is other things like when to clean his room or how to organize something, mom and dad should take the time to listen to his requests and consider them before saying yes or no (I struggle with this the most because most of the time I am attempting to juggle 8 things at the same time and sometimes forget to take a minute and listen to him).The other issue is the whining. I drive me BONKERS. I know he does it because I have allowed it and he tends to end up getting his way. Well, no more. I can't take it anymore and it is the thing that is driving the biggest wedge between us. What I have read is to consistently say, "I cannot understand you when you use that voice, when you're ready to talk to me with a nice tone, I will listen," and then ignore him until he comes to me with a nice tone. The problem with this is, once he is whining it's because he is about 2 breaths away from a full on meltdown. Sometimes this works, but 8 times out of 10, my ignoring him leads to a temper tantrum and then the yelling starts (me). How do I handle this? When I know he's about to tantrum but his whining is hitting a nerve with me, how to I get him to stop whining without it turning into a spectacle?And I have two more questions:I am making him a chore chart and wondering what is the best thing to do for a 5-year-old (daily chores, weekly chores...).And also, I am creating a routine for him and would like him to be able to access what is coming next by knowing what time the next "activity" is and comparing it to a clock (he can't yet tell time but he knows his numbers). Has anyone does this before, and if so, what did you do?Thanks everyone for your time in answering all of these questions! I am completely at a loss right now and I need some support :) via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2cthRzn

My two year old Son cries after a song that he listens to ends

We were Glad at first that he's liking music and thought it was funny how he would cry after the music that he likes, ends.For example he's listening to a nursery rhyme and it stops or ends, he would drop his body to the floor and cry. He'd also do it if we sing a song and end it.His crying won't last for long and we didn't find it alarming but today was his first day in the playgroup and he did exactly the same.All the music that the teacher played, he cried at the end. It even made my Wife carry him because he won't stop crying.Is this a known problem? What can we do? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2cfxMwY

Should we forsake our adoptive son?

My husband and I adopted a boy when he was a toddler. Our son, Malik, is black while we are both biracial (white/latino). We've tried to give him everything he ever needed, wanted, and asked for. We tried to help him keep his racial identity and encouraged he make friends in his own race. He did just that, and always refused to have non-black friends. Growing up, Malik has hated our race and us by proxy. It's been a struggle to keep our family together.Malik began to do drugs and commit crimes by sixteen. He's obsessed with "being black" and seems to think drugs, fights, sex, and bullying is the way to do it. I know that sounds racist BUT he is basically saying that's what it takes to be black. He recently got a girl pregnant and has refused to take responsibility. We've tried to pick up the slack, the girl's family refuses us, partly because of our race...Now he's twenty one, and he has done nothing with his life. He refuses therapy and schooling. He has a criminal record, including the police seeking him out for questioning. He abuses his current girlfriend. He steals from us. He says he hates us and wants us dead.At this point, I want to throw in the towel. I'm just tired. I never adopted any other children nor got pregnant, and I feel like shit for that. I know this might sound terrible but I regret adopting Malik. I wish I hadn't bothered. He has made our lives a living hell from almost the first day. All the love and support we gave him has been repaid with threats of violence. I'm in therapy right now, though I don't feel like it's doing much good. My life is full of regret and self loathing. I feel like I failed my son. He's not a good person and is contributing to the strife the world is full of.I want to wipe my hands of him. My therapist says it'd be wrong. I honestly don't care. I just want some peace of mind. My husband and I are even considering moving to another city without telling Malik. Still, my guilt and love keeps me grounded... What do the other parents here think? Do I abandon my son? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bTjvFb

Bi-Monthly Surveys and studies - September 2016

This is a thread for researchers to publish their surveys, polls or studies that they'd like parent's to participate.Moderators from /r/parenting are not verifying the sources of these surveys, so answer at your own will and don't hesitate to ask for more information from the original poster.If you want to publish a survey that isn't relevant to a parenting subreddit, please try /r/SampleSize. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bEm0iL

Unavoidable trans-Pacific flight with 18-mo-old, need advice how to keep sanity

My wife and I are traveling in upcoming months which entails a 15 hour leg on a trans-Pacific flight. Some weeks later, we will be taking the reverse trip back. Our daughter will be 18 months old at that time, and we want to mitigate as much as possible any problems for her and her comfort, for us and our sanity, and for the other passengers. We will be in coach and she does not have a seat of her own.Anyone that has gone through a similar trial: what lessons did you take from the experience, or what advice can you offer?Steps we have already taken:We endeavored to book the flight that was a majority over-night. She sleeps really well at night and usually is out for a good 12 hours.We have already taken a number of shorter trips (2-4 hrs) by air and rail to acclimate her to the experience. To our surprise, she made a quick realization that taking a few sips from her sippy-cup relieves ear pressure during take-off/landing.My wife and I are thin enough that during cruising, our daughter can sit between us comfortably with the armrest raised and a blanket behind for comfort.Over the last few months I've explored her tastes in kids' movies and she has taken a strong favoritism towards Tangled and Frozen. We loaded these onto an older iPhone with a durable case and cover over the 'home' button and she now enjoys watching these movies using the iPhone. We then bought several pairs of extremely cheap over-head headphones (the kind with the thin metal headband and puffy foam earpieces like were the norm 20 years ago) and taped the band to stay her size. They are so cheap of quality that the maximum volume with the iPhone is well within the safe zone for her ears and she is not going to blast her ears messing with the volume buttons. She is now comfortable sitting and watching Tangled/Frozen on the iPhone with the headphones for about 45 minutes with only occasional help readjusting. On our last flight, we were able to hang the phone (using an attached ring-stand) on the seatback tray latch and she quietly watched for upwards of an hour.Plan on getting some earplugs for her and test how well she sleeps with them inserted after she is asleep. After an initial "dead" phase of her sleep cycle, she becomes a little sensitive to sounds much different than the ambient. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2bKfH8N

My two year old will only eat cold food and it is starting to worry me.

My main concern is whether or not this warrants a visit with her pediatrician. When I search on Google what comes up is autism, aspergers, and sensory processing disorder.It didn't start out of the blue, it was gradual. At first she started refusing hot/warm food and would wait until it was cooled off to eat. Then she would only eat room temperature food. And now she will only eat cold food. And by cold I mean putting it in the freezer until it's cold. She's not picky about what she eats, this girl is a monster and will eat almost anything you put on her plate as long as it is cold. She was willing to try all types of seafood when we older sister wouldn't. If we go out to eat we have to request cold food which gets us lots of weird stares, or bring her own food in a lunch pail with an ice pack. My husband jokes that we should carry around a canister of liquid nitrogen so she can have cold food on the go.Anyway, has anyone else experienced anything like this? If she has autism or some kind of disorder that doesn't matter to me. At least there would be a name to our issue. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2c6Fzhb