Being excluded from granddaughters life

Our first grandchild was born three months ago. We’ve had our ups and downs with our son and his gf, but things have been good since before baby was born. We support them however we can, and show up whenever they’ve needed help getting on their feet as young parents. We’ve given gifts, been present as much as possible, and just generally tried to be good parents and grandparents since she’s arrived. The current virus situation has prevented us from being able to see her, but we stay in touch and drop things off for her frequently. I’ve noticed that none of our gifts are ever used, or acknowledged. We are never tagged in posts or pictures. The mother tags her family but never us. Even before the virus we were always excluded from any type of acknowledgement. I comment but am never replied to. I know the mother doesn’t like me very much but I really am doing my absolute best to let her know that we accept her, support her parenting journey, and that anything negative that’s gone on in the past is no longer an issue. I’ve written nice notes, sent texts, etc to remind her that we are family and we love her and our son and the baby. She has no problems contacting me when she needs or wants something, but there’s still that icy wall of exclusion there, no matter what. I’d really like to get past this stage and have a better relationship with my granddaughter as she grows, but how can I when I’m being excluded so much? It’s almost like I don’t exist unless they need something. I don’t want to be used. And it hurts very badly that she and her family just act like we don’t exist. My son seems very oblivious, but I’m afraid to approach him because I know he’ll take his gf side and defend her behavior no matter what. Does anyone have any advice or similar situations that have gotten better over time? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/3bwa7pW