A few years ago, I came back home from a night out with friends. My mom was still in the living room, and we chatted for a bit about what me and my friends did. At some point I told her that one of them, let's call him Jack, was kind of shitting on me throughout the night. This was a very casual remark yet she, as mom's do, freaked out. I told her that he was just a bit angry about [don't remember, maybe failed a test or got dumped] and was taking it out on us. No biggie, he'll cool of in couple of days. The next morning I wake up to 5 missed calls from him, and a few from our teacher. Apparently earlier that morning my mom made calls to Jack's mom and our teacher, trying to "resolve the situation". And since that day I have been lying my ass off every time she asked about my life, out of fear that any slightly negative story would lead to unconsentual intervention.This is obviously a bit of an extreme example, but it's important that I make this point. My mom's intentions were good, she heard someone was mean to me and wanted to help. It also led to Jack talking about the thing he was angry about with his parents, so ultimately she was helpful. And yet, it completely decimated all trsut between us. It has been almost 4 years but the dread I feel about telling her anything remains.This is something that exists in some capacity in all of my friends as well, with some recalling incedents, just as damaging, from as early as kindergarten. It seems trivial, but every single parent I know made this mistake at some point, and trust me when I say it's nearly irreversible.Always explain your actions beforehand, and give your kid a chance to disagree. Obviously as the parents you might still have to act against thier wishes, but you will be much more likely to maintain trust, and there is a much greater chance that they will continue to confide with you in the future.Please. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2ukYhhP
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