I love my wife-- we dated 5 years and got married last year, and within a month she was pregnant. We planned to have 2 kids, maybe even 3 I said! We read books, watched youtube videos... friends gave us lots of advice. Last month we gave birth to our baby daughter by emergency c-section. Neither of us have much experience with children but are trying to learn fast, but I can't deny the fact that we are overwhelmed with stress.We are not selfish people, and know we have to be much more selfless and dedicate ourselves to our baby. All babies cry--- but there are times when our baby is prone to go into fits of inconsolable high pitched screaming rage, turning bright red like a lobster. Coddling, extra feeding, rocking her, singing, etc won't help during these times. One every 3 days or so we have a day where there are multiple hours or inconsolable rage. Every now and then she can be a sweet angel baby and sleep easily after feeding without problems and if she cries, we can sing & rock her to bed. Most of the time it's a mix---- horrible days like today where she screamed for 5-7 hours (no joke) and we had to shut her in the other room, and then the usual day where after she eats I have to dedicate a substantial amount of time rocking her and soothing her so she doesn't cry when I put her in her bassinet. At least she responds to consoling, but it takes a lot of time when she needs to be fed every 3 hours, and 2 of the three hours are the feeding consoling, leaving 1 hour left to rest before the next feeding. I help my wife every way I can, trying to take feeding shifts so she can get a decent nights sleep, diapers, baths, laundry, housework, helping with breastfeeding, etc, but I'm falling behind in my work and personal life. I worry if my wife can handle this baby if I work more and she has these mood issues. Her doctor put her on Zoloft for psot partum depression already and wants her to see a counselor. The baby isn't even a month old yet, I figured we'd give it some time before going that route. I hope my wife has the stress coping skills to handle a baby while I'm working, etc.I get a lot of guilty thoughts----- I'd like to say I love my daughter to death and in a way I do, but in another way I don't even KNOW this child much yet. I feel guilty for not unconditionally loving my daughter instantly; she just eats, poops, screams, sleeps, and looks around right now and despite taking an active fathering role, in the midst of her screaming I can't help dreaming of a life back the way it was, worrying I've doomed my life & damaging the relationship with my wife. 80% of the conversation revolves around the baby now. I am not sure if I want a second child now, something I was always so sure of. Maybe that will change. We just feel so utterly helpless at times, and watching my wife's mental health suffer worries me. Pediatricians ignore us when we discuss her 7 hour screaming sessions, because she's always an angel at their office---- relaxed from her car seat. Same with the grandparents (always see her as the angel baby).We try to remind ourselves how it's just a stage, and how much of a blessing children are. I think about my parents and my wife's parents and how much more their lives are enriched by having children. Is it normal for moms AND dads to feel this way? Is it normal for newborns to act this way? All appointments seem healthy. Are there any magic tricks to soothing a baby back down to bed after feeding? Or in general? Any help or advice would be appreciated.-Emmie's Dad via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2VPxsyQ
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