MY 7 year old ran away this morning during a temper tantrum. Took me an hour to find him. Feeling like a shit mom and just need some support.

I'll try and be brief.My 7 year old has ADHD. He is a handful and has regularly moved me to tears of desperation through his defiance and emotional turmoil since he was 15 months old. Hours-long meltdowns were the norm. Meltdowns--not fits, not temper tantrums, complete fucking animalistic meltdowns. Non-functional, non-thinking, non-human meltdowns.He is now on medication which helps in other areas.So. Meltdowns during the morning happen frequently. Despite warnings, timers, and a visual checklists, it can still be a struggle. His processing is a bit slower AND he has no concept of time, and he hats being asked more than once to do anything. Some days it can send him into a rage. When he gets mad then he will simply refuse to comply or do anything, sit down where he is and cross his arms, scream at people, throw things.​So this morning he was in a bad mood, would not follow instructions, and threw a fit when I asked him to take the garbage out (that's "his" chore). I dropped the subject because we were running late and asking him to do anything at a non-scheduled time without warning is likely to result in defiance. Later I asked his 5 year old sister to carry it with me and she happily complied.​Well.​This sent him into a rage, and he sat down and decided he wasn't going to move. I was already 15 minutes behind schedule and I don't know how to negotiate with terrorists. So, I grabbed him by the hand, grabbed his bag, and dragged him out the door, and down the stairs of the apartment building. He was screaming bloody murder and trying to get away. Kicking, screaming, hitting me, and biting me. He finally broke free and ran out the door and into the neighborhood.I ended up having to call my husband at work because I didn't know what to do. I had a 5 year old child I couldn't leave alone to go running all over the neighborhood and behind houses, I was officially late for work, and I was leaking menstrual blood into my pants and needed to change my tampon.Long story short, it took us an hour to track him down, and the only reason he came home is because my husband and I literally SPRINTED and cornered him. I was not going to be able to catch up with him and if my husband hadn't been there I don't know how long it would have taken me. I was worried he would leave the neighborhood and start walking down towards the main road.​WTF DO I EVEN DO WITH MY LIFEA child that sits on the floor and refuses to do anything, who goes into blind rages that don't stop or respond to reason, distraction, calmness, yelling, love, threats, promises...we have tried it all. And to imagine: things are actually better now than they used to be!!! What do you do when they will not get dressed or leave the house when you're already 15 minutes late? What do you do when your child is running towards a main road on their own?Everyone in my apartment building heard his screaming bloody murder, heard me raise my voice. People saw me and my husband chase after him and scoop him up, screaming and kicking. If he had been alone much longer someone would have called the cops. I could have been investigated by CPS.​Would you not also take your child by the hand, or pick them up, and take them down the stairs? I literally did not have 30 minutes to spend negotiating him down to a rational mindset. Like, I don't know what other options I had.​Parenting a child like this is so isolating. People do not understand that I do not have a normal child. So I get the blame, or he gets demonized. It's a shameful life full of secrets and stress. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2VMBQKd