I’m stuck.

I’m at my wits end.Backstory (as short as I can make it): Back when he was just starting Pre-school (age 3) he was almost completely toilet trained. No ‘accidents’ for several months and he was even reasonably dry at nights. Then Pre-school started and within a week it was back to spoiling himself at least once a day. This has continued throughout pre-school, kindergarten and into first grade of primary (elementary) school.Then in August of last year my partner was hospitalised. It started with Pneumonia, which became Meningitis, which turned into a stroke which caused permanent and total loss of vision along with balance issues, memory issues and other behavioural changes. This happened when my son was 5, he is now 6.We’ve taken him to doctors and he’s had just about every non-invasive test that can be done and it’s been agreed by various doctors in several practices that there is nothing medically/physically wrong with him. He’s been to see a counsellor and they can’t see anything abnormal or concerning in his behaviour either.I have tried positive and negative reinforcement. I have tried ignoring it as well as encouraging going to the toilet as often as possible or at specific times. I’ve done everything but physical punishment (aside from being illegal, I know it won’t work). I’ve always tried to put the focus on the accident being okay, but him lying about it or hiding it from me is why he gets in trouble.And I’ve come to a dead end. I don’t know what to do. I just don’t. At least once a day I ask him if he needs to go to the toilet or if he needs to change clothes because I can smell it, he refuses and surprise surprise several minutes later other people are pointing it out to me. It’s beyond embarrassing and requires me keeping at least one change of his clothes on me at any given moment.I might be able to cope if it was just the accidents. But it’s the lying - the constant, blatant lying - that is driving me rapidly to the edge. The fact that his mother is home from hospital but still blind doesn’t help. He drops things, breaks things and sneaks around in front of her and when she asks him what happens he lies about it. Either denying involvement or saying one thing has happened when another has instead. Like his small chair ‘falling over’ when it had clearly been thrown across the room. He’s testing what he can get away with around her, and then lying to her about what’s happened to make my anger and frustration at him breaking stuff seem to her to be me overreacting.And no one can tell me what is him having been affected by something in pre-school, traumatised by his mother being in ICU for a fortnight and the hospital for a further five months, and him just being a six year old.And I have to deal with this on top of trying to be ‘strong’ for both my son and his mother, deal with the endless bureaucratic nonsense from everything from banks to disability organisations, and staring down a rapidly decreasing bank account because illustrating kids books is not a lucrative career and it was my now disabled - and unable to work - partner who was the breadwinner.All this came to a head today. My son had a school assembly. An assembly he sang and danced in. An assembly where he won an award. Where was I? Brain dead after arguing with my partners bank about why a Guardianship Order is not only an official legal document (signed by a Justice of the Peace) but arguably more powerful than a Power of Attorney. I missed him getting an award. I completely forgot about it and he even reminded me the other day. And I don’t want to buy him stuff to ‘make up for it’ as his constant accidents and lying does not put him in a good place for being rewarded. But then what do I do. He was clearly disappointed I didn’t show.I’m just exhausted. And I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve always had the “keep on keepin’ on” mindset, and I will keep going. I dunno. I suppose this is just a rant from a broken man, crying over his phone trying to convince himself he hasn’t failed his son. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2QnBoRr