Husbands ex wife married a man they hate without telling the kids (15f)(17m) now they are moving in with us.

This is an update from this post.So my stepson and stepdaughter (I call them my kids because that’s how I think of them) found out their mother married a man they hate via Facebook. They lived with her 70% of the time. She posted a photo on Facebook before talking to them and they hadn’t spoken about getting married at all prior.To all of us (even the kids) they were just sleeping together and not even officially exclusive. He wasn’t living there “officially” but was staying over 5x per week. This really bothered the kids.They left the kids at home alone, overnight without even telling them they would be gone or giving us the option to keep them overnight so they wouldn’t be alone. They went to Reno (4 hours away) and got married. They could have brought the kids, they didn’t.After talking about it extensively with the kids, having them reach out to people they respect and consider wise counsel and having them speak to a therapist they have decided to move on with us on a temporary to permanent basis.Their mother (very stupidly) thought the kids would be sooooo happy that she’s in love and got married that they would be jumping for joy. She didn’t even consider how hurtful it would be to not attend her wedding or be given time to even adjust to the idea of this man being in their lives. According to her they were “just friends” a month ago. She was VERY aware that they didn’t like “Bob” and were uncomfortable with him.This post isn’t really about the emotional aspects but more the day to day life of transitioning from having stepkids part time to full time.. what advice do you have ? Have you done this or been the kid who went through this ?Our house was running efficiently before adding them in to the mix so I know in a few weeks we’ll be able to get a routine going that works for us.Would love to hear stories, tips/advice, encouragement. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2Vcsoo8