8Year Old Nightmare

God, I honestly don't even know where to start, but I'm just beyond done with my eight year old daughter, I don't know where to even begin. I had my daughter young, and was with her father for seven years of her life before we just drifted apart. We all still live together she, her father and I, as well as my boyfriend and as far as that goes? We all (myself, my ex and my current partner) seem to get along fine, but our constant 'problem' is my daughter.​I'd like to say it started back when she was 3-4. Just random outbursts and destructive behaviors. Drawing on the walls, herself, tearing apart books and art and posters we had put in her room, screaming bloody murder when she didn't get what she wanted or was interacted with in any capacity. We figured once she entered Kindergarten things would be fine. We're a low income family but we have always been close, and try to interact with her and show her that having money to do things isn't as important as being around family. Unfortunately, her behavior only seemed to worsen with school. She started stealing and lying more often, her fits would be a daily occurrence unless she got a nap directly after school and she began inflicting violence upon me (slapping, punching and kicking) when she didn't like what she was being told.​We moved from our apartment to live closer to family and the problems got even worse than before. We believed it has to do with moving about and being changed from school to school but this was just the tip of the iceberg. She began putting holes in her walls with pencils, drawing along the walls and peeling plaster out from the walls shes put holes in. Stealing food (always sweets, once even just plain white sugar in a bottle, mixed with water and spilled all over her floor) and any other 'nice' thing brought into the house (we couldn't go five minutes without watching her without her 'sneaking' something in her pocket, down her pants, in her palms. The house had to be baby proofed from a 6 year old but she still would climb up furniture to get what she wanted, and would hide things from us when she didn't get what she wanted or was in trouble (keys, cards, paperwork etc.)​When she hit around 7 the constant arguing back and muttering under her breath started. She was still stealing from the cupboards and fridge and would have explosive tantrums if she had things stashed in her room and we went near the door, but no amount of 'punishment' worked. We would take things away, deny her desserts, disallow her to watch Netflix or movies, take away her stuffies, it didn't matter. She wouldn't even react to having these punishments and would scream in our faces or roll her eyes and only worsen things for us (example: she stole a photo album I had in the top of my closet with the only photos of my father in them, and destroyed them with marker and water and smirked/laughed at me when I started to cry about it, and argued with her father when he tried to punish her for this act.) She claims shes being 'bullied' at school, but I've been speaking with her teachers and they say shes acting out in class, inviting people to make fun of her, screaming in class and hiding in the 'cubby' area when shes asked to settle down and pay attention, and acting like a cat, only to cry wolf when kids pick on her for it. We've addressed this, and shes not understanding the actions and consequences, choosing to hiss and 'growl' at us like a feral animal when we confront her for it. We tell her its not appropriate but shes just not getting it, no matter how many times we tell her.​Her violence has only increased, Halloween and Easter both being skipped over because of her violent outbursts (she donkey kicked me in the knee on Halloween and I was on crutches for two weeks afterwards, and for Easter she slammed my hand in a door, dislocating my pinky knuckle when I was trying to talk to her in the doorway.) Just yesterday she decided she wanted to 'cut up a box' (despite the scissors in the house being stashed away due to her cutting her hair to the root so she 'wouldn't have bangs' more than three times) and took my pocket knife from my jacket pocket and cut up a box I was saving with said pocket knife on the couch, slicing the couch cushions (leather) in the process, leaving the shredded pieces everywhere, and the box pieces scattered all over the livingroom, saying "I didn't do it" in increasing volume when confronted about it, only to say "its just the stupid arm rest" when she finally fessed up.​It feels like shes in trouble all the time. The destructiveness, the arguing and lying, and stealing and hurting me. I just cannot handle it any more, and both my ex and my boyfriend feel helpless to do anything. Her father just gets angry and yells, my boyfriend tries to be diplomatic and she just gives him the 'sweet' treatment until he stops giving her what she wants, and starts acting up again. I can't get any support from the teachers in her school, we can't find a family doctor, I can't keep living like this in my house. I feel like I'm raising a sociopath, and nothing I say or do even touches the surface of her rage. One of these minutes, I'm scared shes going to really hurt me, and I am terrified to 'grow' my family because I have no idea whether I could trust her around an infant (ie: If I told her to leave the baby alone, and she felt like putting a blanket in the crib to 'be helpful' and the baby suffocated... or something along those lines where she just wouldn't put the action to the consequence.) She won't listen, she won't take anything we say seriously, and I just have no idea what to do. Does anyone have any idea how to even remotely tap the surface of these problems?​I feel like I'm a terrible mother because I just don't have the patience to have her scream in my face, or give me attitude the moment I ask her to do anything. I feel like nothing I do will salvage our relationship, and we're going to end up just, not talking, or her having terrible memories of childhood because of me. Any advice would be... awesome. via /r/Parenting http://bit.ly/2GR1YOH