This is an update from my previous post.https://ift.tt/2qhW4i7 didn’t mention my son’s boyfriend’s name in my last post, but since this one includes more of him, I will be using the fake name of Tyler.Previous stated in my other post all names used are not realSo, over these last few weeks, life has been crazy, emotional and quite stressful.First with Kylie. She is currently living back at home. She came home after my husband and I sat her down and had a very serious discussion about how her actions hurt Carson and Tyler. She tried to pull the excuse that he needed to come out, but we emphasized the fact her excuse would not be tolerated. We told her that we want her to come home, but we will not allow her to cause any more unnecessary drama and turmoil to the family. She gained some empathy then and said that she was sorry and that she wanted to come home.After we had our discussion, we told her the full extent of her punishment. All electronics are gone, until we feel that she can use them in a responsible manner. Her Facebook that we allowed her to have, so she can connect with other people in her fandom was deleted. Also, we deleted her Tumblr account that was used the same way. Her trip to Disney was cancelled, her phone was taken away and replaced with my old flip phone from 2006. We are having her volunteer with an organization that helps LGBTQ teens and she will be attending therapy. We did say that therapy wasn’t a punishment, but a constructive way for her to sort out her feelings about Carson and the situation with someone outside our family.Now on to Carson.Before Kylie came home, Carson took the high road and went to her and stated that he was sorry that he attacked her and it wasn’t his intention to hurt her and he wanted her to come home for the sake of the family, but he would never forgive her for her actions. This was great and we thought it would open some more dialogue between the two of them, but it didn’t. He hasn’t said a word to her since she came home.Right now Carson is a former shell of himself and my husband and I are worried about him. He quit every sport he was in along with JROTC. He has lost friends and the friends that are being supportive he doesn’t want to interact with. He barely interacts with our family anymore. At first, we wanted him to see a therapist, but he unwilling to go. Then we suggested that it would be good for him to interact with other LGBTQ teens or in the community, but he lashed out and stated that he is not gay and not like them. He is still attending school, but according to my oldest daughter he is in a daze the entire time. When he is not at school, he just lays in his bed and does nothing, he barely even eats. He decided that he give Tyler space and try not to contact.From what we know, Tyler has not attended school since the initial incident and we are worried for him as well. We do know he is alive and I did speak to his father at one point who said he has become withdrawn from life to.Another problem to the whole situation is since a good majority my attention and husband’s attention has been towards Kylie and Carson lately. Our youngest son Alex is starting the act out. Alex is 8 and having full blown tantrums not only at home, but at school and in his gymnastics classes. It has gotten to the point that his Coach has pulled him from an upcoming meet and the school has called multiple times to come get him. He has also begun to wet the bed, something he hasn’t done since he was five. We are trying to focus more attention on him, but then our nine-year-old feels that she is not getting attention, so she will act out.The only saving grace is that our second oldest son and my oldest daughter don’t do anything and try to help with the younger ones, but I don’t want them to feel as if they need to parent their siblings because that's not their job. Their job is to focus on school and being teenagers.I feel that I am failing as a parent. It also doesn’t help that I work a fulltime job up to 50-60 hours a week, so I can’t be home as often as I need to.TLDR: Family is imploding. via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2EwekbF
No comments:
Post a Comment