Dealing with a tantrum from someone else's child in your home

So my wife had a bunch of her family over my house for a BBQ. My sister-in-law has three pretty wild boys (ages 10, 8, 5) but for the most part their chaos is pretty self contained. We're about 5 hours into the BBQ and it starts to rain. Their three boys and mine (ages 9 and 5) are all playing pretty nicely together on the xbox with just 3 controllers. To keep the peace, I let them know that the winner of each round on their game gets to keep playing and the other two need to trade with the others. They all equally suck at the game so turnover is pretty fair. The middle one decided at some point he didn't want to give up his controller after a random round. His dad tried handling it, and the kid throws the controller at the floor. I picked up the controller and calmly said he was done with the xbox and no one made a big deal out of it.Five or so minutes goes by, the middle one comes back out starts hitting his older brother, his parents send him to the other room. Next he broke one of his younger brothers toys in half, and his mom put him in the other room to cool down again. He came back after a few minutes and took the controller out of my son's hands and threw it down. His mom tells her husband he's going to only get worse if we don't give him a turn. The kid is kicking the back of the couch ignoring his parents when I had enough. I didn't yell at the kid, but I turned around and told him sternly:Stand up the kid immediately jumps to his feet Do not kick my couch, do you understand? he said yes This isn't your parents house, this is my house, and I make the rules. You have a terrible attitude, so you're not getting another turn. Do you understand? he said yesThe couple with the boys ended up leaving shortly after. I asked the other adults if I was being an asshole. My wife's only critique was my command voice (I'm retired Army) probably gave the kid an anxiety attack; the other adults said it's my house. I'm not trying to change anyone's parenting style; but I think it's flat out disrespectful for a kid to act that way, and just as disrespectful for their parent to passively hope their child stops. This kid gets pretty destructive when he's having a tantrum, and I know that they're not looking to repair a hole kicked into our couch or replace our TV when he throws a controller at it. I could have talked with his parents (who were right there in the room seeing everything happen), but I'm fairly positive that would have been far more embarrassing for them to not be able to control the situation than for me to put an end to the situation right then and there. I would have no issue with another adult doing the same if the roles were reversed - e.g. not being verbally abusive, swearing, physical contact.So I ask all of you to get an honest answer, did I handle that like an asshole? via /r/Parenting https://ift.tt/2JQtCfx