My son and daughters father abandoned them, what should I do?

My children are 14 and 12, and their dad and I have been divorced for 9 years. Him and I are very high conflict and have been through family court twice. The latest pre- trial ended in an interim order (which was almost 10 months ago) and technically I won. (No one ‘wins’ in family court, I know this, just adding that in as I believe it has effected the situation.)His relationship with the kids has always been superficial and has never been really involved (he doesn’t attend parent teacher interviews, sporting events, surgeries, etc). But, he paid child support for five years on time religiously. We’re also both re-married.Last March, he just stopped paying child support. He currently owes me $16,000 and has lost his drivers license, passport, etc. through maintenance enforcement. He owns his own business and makes decent money, this is a choice he’s making, he’s not not paying because he’s struggling. For example he just went to Vegas for a week with his wife.When my kids would go to his house for visitation him and his wife would party and sleep all day, send them off to other family members so they could ‘do them’, really he just made the kids come for his access days but then ignores them. Through counselling, I was advised to encourage my kids to communicate with their dad they didn’t like when they drank or ignored them when they came over (in hopes he would change when he heard it from them). About 5-6 months ago, my son told his dad he didn’t want to see him anymore. So he drove him home and hasn’t seen or spoke to him since. My daughter did the same thing a week later, said she hated him and wanted to come ‘home’.My ex hasn’t called or picked up the kids for any of his access days since, missed Christmas, birthdays, etc. So it’s been about 6 months since any contact. And this is hurting my kids, the rejection. Plus they feel guilty, for what they said, like maybe if they didn’t say that he would still be around. My kids tell me they hate me when they’re upset but that doesn’t mean I take that to heart and leave! My daughter asked me ‘do you think my dad bought me a Christmas present? Do you think he kept it or do you think he returned it?’, it breaks my heart how disposable she sees herself with him.What I’m wondering, should I reach out to him? Should I make the effort to patch things up between him and the kids? Like I’ll have to go the 90 so he can come the 10. Or do you think I should work with them on dealing with his absence and that they’re better off that he’s gone? via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2FnS88n