Some posters might have seen me post issues about our 11F previously. Here's a thread from a couple of weeks ago I posted and got some feedback on.http://ift.tt/2lMekR2, the last three weeks haven’t been the best. We’ve tried and tried and tried to help her with issues that she’s been having.After violent attacks on her younger brother (9M) and older sister (12F), and threats to us to harm our 6 month old, we had her put into an inpatient care facility yesterday afternoon. It was probably the worst thing I’ve ever had to do as a parent. She’s been hateful to everybody and just gets worse and worse and we can no longer handle her behavior. We were hoping that they would suggest outpatient care/therapy where she’s there from 7am to 6pm for school and therapy. That was going to be their initial suggestion, but after they interviewed her, for the sake of the other 3 kids in the house, they suggested inpatient care and for at least 12 days. We’ll be able to visit her 3x week, for an hour. And she’s allowed a 5 minute phone call everyday. This is going to be tough on everybody. The 9M woke us up crying last night because he think it is his fault. We assured him that it isn’t. And that everybody needs to get together and learn how to handle situations like this.We think the main issue is her Dad. Her Dad hasn’t been in her life much the last 6 months. Doesn’t ask to see her, but take his 9M to football games, and does stuff with him. Their Dad called my wife Wednesday afternoon to talk about this coming weekend plans (another football game and a basketball game). The 11 year old stated she didn’t want to go earlier in the week when he asked my wife. When he called to talk to her, it was like a light switch. Turned into this violent person towards everybody. Punching 9M in the face multiple times. I had to intervene to protect him. She then moved her anger out on me, the furniture, the walls, anything she tried to get her hands on she tried to destroy. We managed to wrangle her into and take her to her Dad’s job to see if maybe he can talk to her. She flipped again, was nice to him, but still horrible to me and my wife while he was standing there. And all he did…was say “Why are you being like this baby?”, “I love you”. “Don’t be this person”, and in a low tone. He didn’t show any anger and didn’t seem to really care at all. It degraded further, I told him that he needs to be more assertive with her. That was a bad idea. Cops got called and I got back into the van to tend to our 6 month old who we couldn’t find a sitter last minute. She throws another fit, gets into the van at me and I yell at her to get away from me while she was hitting me (she’d already kicked me in the nuts and was throwing stuff at me in the car ride previously) and he got pissed off at that and called ME abusive because I yelled at her. Apparently, from what I’ve learned the last couple of years is he’s never really disciplined the kids. Her other 2 kids don’t really need it, but this one does. She’s manipulative and feeds off conflict and drama and loves it. She’ll came down an hour later and apologize for everything that has transpired and laugh about it. Totally disregarding what she’s caused.We’ve tried spending more time with her. Just me. Or just my wife. Both of us together doing stuff that we know she likes doing. Seems that no matter what we “do” won’t be good enough.Dad doesn’t know what transpired yesterday afternoon at the intake into the facility. He did threaten legal action if she was placed in an inpatient care. But my wife has 100% authority over medical issues and this is one. Tonight, she’s going to allow the 9M to go this weekend to him. We’re going to do this exchange at a police station with an officer present and inform him where the 11F is.UPDATE - we've received word from the treatment facility that we need to follow legal actions to prevent Dad from seeing her due to inappropriate behavior. And suggesting that the 9M can see Dad, but supervised only. Now we need to get a temporary custody order in place before the courts close today. via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2yqXQnb
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