Fair rules for daughter who has bad teeth?

Recently I went to the dentist and to my shock horror found that my 7 year old needs 4 teeth pulled out. She brushes her teeth everyday and we don't allow sweets all the time, probably once a week. Fruit however was daily. I was berated by the first dentist I saw for being a bad mum (he was on the NHS and we live in a bad neighbourhood) so I took her for a second opinion.The second dentist confirmed she only needed 2 baby teeth removed but said that some children do just have weaker teeth- our 9 year old eats the exact same, forgets to brush his teeth more and his teeth are perfect. He told us to make sure she was doing it properly and watched her do it herself. She was not doing it how she had been taught- she just brushed the front. He asked her why and she said that she 'didn't like brushing.' He there and then told her it was her fault then, because she wasn't looking after her teeth. I did feel sorry for her, thought it was a bit heavy for a 7 year old but yeah.Soooo, we are told she can have no sweets no juice and fruit only once a week. She is obviously gutted. We try to lessen the blow by making this a family change- now we all have cut out sugary foods etc etc not to mention supervise her brushing.Her behaviour has been slightly out of whack because of it and her brother is upset because he never has sweets now and feels like he's being punished for her teeth. So now, when she's in bed, we allow him to have something sweet. I feel like this is sneaky and secretive but feel like overall it's probably better than her watching him? She also was under the idea that after the teeth get pulled everything will go back to normal- I had to sadly tell her no- this is it now and sweets will only be for special occasions (birthdays, Christmas.) I reminded her we were all doing it together- we didn't want anymore teeth lost. She then had a tantrum and told me that it was my fault that her teeth were bad- I just uttered the doctors words 'some children have weaker teeth, you weren't brushing properly.'Am I being fair? I do feel for her and I am trying to make savoury things fun- crackers with different cheeses, carrots and different kinds of bread. It has made me realise how ingrained sweets are for children- she is given them at school, the adverts are so kid orientated etc via /r/Parenting http://ift.tt/2sA81mE